leaf.ling

Hello

2006-11-16T19:23:00.000+08:00

This computer is going to blast off soon.

Damn it.

In a bad mood...

HOCC is in Johor Bahru right now and I can't go.

Stupid.

I'm talking crap right now, obviously in not much of a mood to blog.

Anyway...

I may be deleting this blog by next year... I'm not sure myself. Perhaps I will just delete all my previous entries and renew this blog.

Why?

Because it's time to let go.

Two years is so short yet so long.

It's in my hands whether or not I will survive and graduate from my secondary school.

Wahaha.

I sound pathetic.

Feel like seeing Mariane.

No idea why, but she's probably the only one who can cheer me up without doing anything.

Hmmm.

Good evening to you.

Bye-bye.

The Words Day

2006-11-08T13:48:00.000+08:00

After many days of planning and trying to silence Cherylee from spilling the beans, our surprise party has finally succeeded.

Woohoo!

I'm quite surprised that it actually worked out considering the fact that Cherylee had hinted so many times to the birthday girl that there was something going on. But I guess everyone managed to get along very happily and work together so everything ran very smoothly indeed.

Other than celebrating the birthday, this gathering was also held to meet up with one another. Indeed, this is our last year together in the same class.

Well well well.

Swan: I really hope that you enjoyed that small little party that we had planned. It might not be the most well-organised party and our presents might have been slightly crazy such as the four-layered gift (courtesy of Cherylee). But yeah, really appreciate you as a friend and a helpful classmate of mine... You are one of the greatest babes on Earth. Keep in touch.

Rabbit: Remembered sitting next to you last year for a while and we hardly talked. Then much later, we became good friends like we are now. It's really quite unpredictable. Over the past few months, we had a lot of fun making fun of a certain Cherylee and the Snow Fairy. Of course, in the morning, playing with the Mao Mao as well. What great fun... Stay cool, girl.

Luo Han: At first when I saw you, you were this quiet and sometimes rather fierce girl sitting near me during Chinese class. To my dear competitor who does really well in her academic results, it may be a good thing you will be in a different class from me next year! Just joking... Really appreciate both the fun and serious sides of you... Rock on.

RachN: Oh you naughty little scary cutie angry crazy smarty pants! Sometimes it's really hard to win you in words with the brains you have. A small girl with a big brain indeed. I guess the only thing I can win you in is that I'm more of a pervert and I know more babes than you! Hahaha... Just joking. Keep on being smart, you toot.

Cabbage: Ahhh... My darling cabbage whom I dote on the most! You are crazy beyond cure and I truly love that. Of course, you always make me angry and sometimes I make you angry but this is love! Haha... You are you and nothing can be changed but yeah, try to tone down a little sometimes, okay? Then you will be my new mistress.

Haha... Just some words to five of my friends for now.

To the rest of my friends, I love you all very much too and will say sweet things to you soon!

(Gosh. That doesn't sound like me.)

My Babies

2006-10-23T17:06:00.000+08:00

Over the past few weeks, my life has been as miserable as ever. But with the arrival of my babies, I am feeling much brighter now and my days are full of love and hope.

Name: C - 囡 (above left)
Type: Gymnocalycium Frederickii (Hibotan)
Appearance: Red, orange, yellow
A gentle and pretty cactus which blooms occasionally. Seldom attack people but has pricked owner a couple of times. Has a tendency to flirt with other cacti.

Name: C - 仔 (above right)
Type:
Appearance: Yellow fingers sticking upwards
Extremely lovable with soft and furry spikes. The soft flesh is rather fragile and this stupid owner nearly broke it into pieces. Easily dirtied so owner grooms it regularly.

Name: Pong (bottom left)
Type:
Appearance: Flowery and mushy
This cactus looks a little like an old lady because of its pattern. A whole layer of white flowers covers the green flesh inside it. Plump, friendly and pleasant-looking.

Name: Pook (middle)
Type: Mammillaria Balsasoides
Appearance: Green with dirty white spikes
Mischievous cactus with extremely painful spikes. Has the potential to bloom and bear colourful flowers. Looks a little like a bunch of unripe bananas.

Name: Porn (bottom right)
Type:
Appearance: Small feathery flowers
Adorable cactus which has a rather unique look. Not as fat as the other cacti but still considered overweight. Needs to go on a diet with owner.

That's it for now. Bye fellas!

Should I Stay?

2006-10-20T16:01:00.000+08:00

Recently, I haven't been blogging much here.

I'm not sure why, but I just feel that maintaining this blog requires quite a lot of energy and time. This may sound silly, but I feel that a blog shouldn't be like this. It becomes a form of responsibility to come up here to update this blog and get so frustrated when there are technical problems and my entries suddenly disappear.

Anyway, life has been fufilling. I'm happy and contented with it. The results were pretty average and after two months of resting, it's back to school.

Life's like that.

If you wish to read my other blog which I update more frequently, feel free to visit it. You can find the link somewhere around this webpage.

Our time has come.

September Holidays 2006

2006-09-09T22:26:00.000+08:00

Haven't blogged for quite a while.

Nothing much has happened but I'm sure you have heard about Steve Irwin's death.

I may not be a fan of Animal Planet but occasionally, I will watch an episode or two of Crocodile Hunter during my spare time. It's amazing to see how Irwin cared for the animals and he has left a deep impression on most of us.

I do hope that his family will be able to cope without him being there physically.

Life is unpredictable, isn't it?

*sigh*

Anyway, a week has passed and I will be returning to school the day after tomorrow. I have calculated and the first exam is only twenty days away.

Scary.

Yeah, I'm scared.

Hope to get it over and done with though.

I'm awaiting the two-month holidays when I will be lazing around, watching television, listening to songs, playing my Play Station and eating a lot every day. Ha. It will be so fun.

Unless I died during the exams.

Good night.

Today (31.08.06)

2006-08-31T14:41:00.000+08:00

Came back home.

Munched on cashew nuts, ate instant noodles and drank a few cups of water.

All alone.

But I'm not feeling lonely.

Being alone at home is great actually. It seems as if I suddenly have the freedom to live my own life minus the nagging of my mother and the sight of people I dislike.

Haha.

As I switched on my computer, I swore to myself that I will shut it down at three o'clock and revise for my examinations. That means I am supposed to go offline now and practise my Mathematics questions.

Oh well.

Life has been pretty miserable recently. I don't know what I want to achieve at all and it feels like a torture to live day by day aimlessly. Facing the people around me makes me feel worse. I don't know why.

*sigh*

Friends?

2006-08-27T14:47:00.000+08:00

I have always believed that kind people will have good returns and that the evil will have their retribution. Therefore, I understand that I don't have good friends because I am not a good friend.

Fine.

Good friends are hard to have.

Good friends are hard to be.

Sometimes, it seems that human beings just don't treasure everything they have. Most of the time, we take our loved ones for granted and probably appreciate them only after they leave.

Cruel people are ever cowards in emergency.
2006/08/26 06:24:10

I truly despise those who can bear to hurt their so-claimed loved ones, be it only with words, let alone in action and thinking.
That is nothing but cruelty, simply unworthy of any concern whatsoever.
Damn these ppl, may they rot from their darkened hearts out.

The above was written by Denise Ho.

Yeah.

These few days, I have been thinking too much about the philosophy of life.

Why do people hope for what they do not have but disregard what they have?

Good friends come only a few times in your life.

If you have them, treasure them.

Sometimes, the unlucky may not even have the chance to have a single good friend in their entire life. Maybe I'm one of them. Perhaps, it's because we are lousy friends so we have lousy friends?

Possible.

Well well well. The end-of-year examinations are coming again. I think it's time to focus on studies and not friendships, even though the latter is much more important in everyone's life.

Crap.

Female Dogs

2006-08-25T16:10:00.000+08:00

Most people think that school life is enjoyable. As students, we do not face many problems and our responsibility is mainly just to achieve good academic results.

Often, all the students in a class are on good terms with one another and stay together through thick and thin. When there is a school event, everyone work together to reach for the top. When someone is in trouble, she will be having the support of all her classmates. Both work and returns are distributed equally and everyone gives without hoping to receive.

Yeah right.

In my class, some are more equal than the others.

The situation of my class actually seems quite similar to the story of Animal Farm. It is said that all animals are to be equal, but yet, the pigs are the leaders. As the "brain workers" of the farm, they claim credit for themselves. However, the other animals such as Boxer, the hardworking horse, and the hens, which had no choice but to give up their eggs to be sold, contribute a lot for the farm too. These poor animals stick by the rules but yet, they are treated cruelly.

All along, my class has been split into gangs of different types of people. Since the beginning of last year, these gangs have been defined into different categories. There is a particular group behaving exactly like the cunning pig, Napoleon.

To me, they are nothing more than female dogs.

Bitches.

Today, I saw their true colours. I used to think that they may not be that selfish but not any longer.

Just a few weeks back, we had a class party. That evening, everyone seemed to have gotten along well, but now I realise it might have been just an act. In fact, I totally regret going to the party in the first place because have you (my dearest classmates) realised something?

The people who were organising the party (and insisting that our class was not bonded enough) are actually the bitches in our class.

I know that right now, the bitches may be reading what I'm writing about them but I don't care any longer. There are just a few more months to go before I can stop tolerating them.

May Year 2007 arrive soon.

Thinking about all these things kinda put me off about going to school anymore. Since it's such a torture facing such classmates (and idiotic teachers), I may as well go to school just for the sake of studying and behave like I'm dead when they are begging for me to do work for them or to borrow my stationary.

Besides, it's already the last week of Term 3.

I would rather fly to Kuala Lumpur to see my darling Denise Ho who will be there this week.

This entry may offend the hell out of most of my classmates but I would like to say that there is still a small population of beautiful people in my class and thanks for giving me hope that good classmates actually exist.

Of course, I am a bitch too.

And a bitch who has just sprained her knee again.

Ow.

Anyway, I would like to curse all the people out there who think that my injury is not serious at all and it is an excuse not good enough to miss my NAPFA test. If you wish to know how my knee feels, please fall off somewhere high and I would love to see you in heavy bandage.

Thank you for your misunderstanding.

Fucking bad mood... I am going to have depression soon.

Negative Feelings

2006-08-21T19:55:00.000+08:00

My mum and I always argue with each other but it's seldom serious. Sure, sometimes we quarrel over minor matters and refuse to speak to each other for a while. However, we always manage to forget such unhappiness easily and continue behaving crazily as we were before the incident.

Yesterday, I showed a little bit of anger and offended my mother.

Perhaps most of you know this already. My family has problems (they may not be that severe but they still bother me) and my mum has had many difficult times in her life and I should not be adding on to her worries. But sometimes, when I face not only family problems but also frustrations in school, I tend to be in a little bad mood and take it out on my mum, just like how she takes it out on me.

When I returned home from school late today, I found a letter on my desk.

It was written by my mother and I shall not emphasise on what she wrote. The contents were pretty depressing and she must have taken a long time writing it. Also, she ended the letter by signing off as "Your helpless mum".

*sigh*

Today has been pretty sad.

My class went for an field trip to find out more about the Japanese Occupation. We even went to Kranji War Memorial, which can also be known as a cemetry. It wasn't creepy or horrifying, but I felt a very dark feeling in my heart. Those lives were taken without any mercy...

Before that, my classmate Denise received a call from her dad and she had to leave early. Most of us were rather concerned and I really hope nothing serious happened. Be strong.

Amithabha.

Life seems to be pretty bad recently and I don't really have the mood to blog further. Besides, I don't see any use in blogging anymore because I have found a way to relieve stress by drowning myself in music.

Bye.

National Day's Eve 2006

2006-08-18T16:52:00.000+08:00

On the 8th of August, several friends and I went shopping in Parkway Parade for a few hours and then to East Coast Park for our class party. It was a rather tiring day but definitely one of the most memorable National Day's Eve in my life. (I don't mean it entirely in a positive way.)

Recently, I have been in a rather horrifying mood, behaving as if I have been possessed.

Well well well.

Anyway, we took many pictures on that day and actually revised for History at the same time. Don't get what I mean? Basically, we were practising our Source-Based Questions.

Niahaha.

But first, let me tell you a fairytale about an adorable couple.

Enise (the wife on the left) and Heryl (the husband on the right) are a happy couple but they nearly divorced a few days ago. This is due to the fact that whenever they were being photographed, Heryl would be fighting for attention.

For example, Heryl tried to act cute in this photo and occupied much more space than his wife. Therefore, Enise decided that she was having enough of Heryl's nonsense.

Not only did she ignored Heryl, but she slapped him too.

Finally, they decided to patch things up. From then on, Heryl was willing to listen to Enise and listen to his wife's words, to the extent 0f closing his eyes in this picture.

And they lived happily ever after.

Hahahaha.

I will start using my inferential skills for some photos now!

I can infer that Heryl is extremely happy after getting back with his wife. He is smiling vibrantly and is very ecstatic. This shows how much he loves Enise.

By the way, Heryl will be Cheryl from now on as he has been changed into a girl. (No pun intended.) Also, Enise will be changed to Denise.

P.S. I will continue another day... My stupid computer went haywire and my nearly-completed entry got stuck here. There's still many more pictures to go... *sigh*

Break Down

2006-08-15T17:49:00.000+08:00

My computer broke down a few days ago so I haven't had the chance to update this blog recently. I'm sorry for any inconvenience caused.

I will be uploading some photos soon but meanwhile, I have to eat my dinner.

Gotta run now.

Have a good week ahead.

Currently in love with local actress Constance Song.
But my dearest is still Mariane, who seemed to have brought me good luck on her birthday. Yay.

My Own

2006-08-04T19:47:00.000+08:00

The things which I own seem to be the best in the world.

The food which I eat seems to be the tastiest.

The water which I drink seems to be sweet.

The places where I frequent seem to be the closest to my heart.

The people whom I love seem to be angels sent into my life.

It's like this sometimes.

Treasuring everything in your life will make you happy.

Life will then be beautiful.

Therefore...

This bag which I made seems to be rather pretty, even if it is not.

This photo frame which I made seems to be cool, even if it is not.

These photos which I like seem to be a little too big for the frame.

This photo which was autographed by Mariane seems to be like a treasure to me.

These other photos which I received from Daow seem to be more valuable than gold.

These photos which I captured using my mobile phone seem to be so natural.

And to all my friends out there...

You all seem to be the cutest people around.

Happy Birthday to Rabbit! This post is dedicated to you.
*grin*

It's Not Over

2006-08-04T19:10:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought that all the tests for the term are over, there's still another project for my lazy group to finish. Moreover, I will have to skip my grandma's birthday party this Sunday to attend my project discussion.

How sad.

Anyway, I went to Parkway Parade with CheryLee today.

Rabbit was supposed to follow us but she suddenly remembered that she had piano lessons so she managed to escape from my clutches... Niahaha.

Therefore, CheryLee and I went to the shopping centre alone.

Basically, it was rather boring.

Firstly, we went to buy bubble tea.

Secondly, we walked around the basement of the mall looking for gift shops. (We nearly banged into 2 girls who were walking around holding hands and we ended up laughing like nuts.)

Thirdly, we browsed around in MPH before getting out of there.

Fourthly, the both of us made our way to some gift shops again.

Fifthly, we walked to McDonald's. We ate fries, I bought ice-cream and CheryLee drank Coke.

Then, her father fetched me home in his Merc.

What an exciting day.

Oh Man...

2006-08-03T18:27:00.000+08:00

I have 2 major tests tomorrow.

There is Home Economics homework waiting for me to complete.

My group has not completed filming for our History project.

What am I doing online?

I don't know.

*sigh*

Cheers to Nnadia Chan... (Hope you feel better!)

All the best to Denise Ho. (Don't be discouraged. Keep chasing your dreams!)

As for Mariane...

Hmmm...

Have you eaten dinner?

*wink*

My CheryLee

2006-07-31T15:38:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to CheryLee

May you always be healthy and jolly

And grow to be very pretty

Just like your mummy

My dear CheryLee...

I'm sorry for posting this entry one day late. My computer broke down yesterday so although it was your birthday, I could not blog in time.

Anyway, I will further apologise by writing another entry about you soon.

Niahaha.

Bye.

History Babe

2006-07-28T14:49:00.000+08:00

I am crazy over my History teacher...

When I see her, I gasp so loudly that all my classmates stare at me as if I am a pervert.

But honestly, I am not a lesbian.

Yet.

*wink*

Oh yes, that teacher will be nicknamed Jan from now on.

Therefore, I can proudly say that I'm not addicted to Jan and there is no need to mention her every day in front of me. Don't be so naughty, okay?

By the way, I have not done a post on Carnival Day yet and I think I will try to do so since it was quite a eventful day. Well, mainly it was because I took many photos of my classmates and a few teachers secretly.

Niahaha.

Also, there was this gorgeous Secondary One pupil so I took a few photos of her without her knowledge...

Yeah, I know I am an idiot.

Anyway, for CheryLee's information, Rabbit and I are dating in Computer Lab 1 now. She's my new female target! Haha...

Actually, it's weird that I'm in love with so many women in my life.

Just kidding.

Can't Study

2006-07-26T17:08:00.000+08:00

It's not that I'm too lazy to study, but there just isn't a way to study for my three tests tomorrow. I mean, how am I to study for English comprehension summary?

Also, my Chinese test paper will not be using the contents from my textbook.

As for the Literature test, it will be an unseen prose.

*sigh*

But it's good in a way because I don't have to slug myself out studying.

Heehee.

Good luck on everything, fellows.

Dehydration

2006-07-25T18:01:00.000+08:00

There's something wrong with my bladder.

I keep going to the toilet.

But that's because there's something wrong with my mouth.

I keep drinking water.

Niahaha.

Sometimes blog entries can very random.
Like this.

Mariane's Card

2006-07-23T21:05:00.000+08:00

After many weeks of consideration, I have decided to send a birthday card to darling Mariane.

Yay.

However, I was a little apprehensive at first because my mother does not really approve of me sending stuffs to my idols. Therefore, I had to seek her permission first.

"Can or not?"

"Can what?"

"Can I send something to Hong Kong?"

"Send to who? Another new person you like?"

"No lah."

"Denise Ho?"

"No lah."

Denise has so many fans already! She doesn't need me to send anything.

Niahaha.

"Then who are you sending to?"

"Uh..."

"You have a new idol is it?"

"No lah... Old one."

"Bobby?"

I nearly vomited out my breakfast.

I am not sending anything to Bobby Au-Yeung even though he is a good actor.

"Not Bobby lah!"

"Then... Aiyah, must be Mariane right?"

My mum is so smart.

Yeah, the person I am sending it to is the lady of my dreams.

Mariane darling.

Niahaha.

My mum started shaking her head and seemed unhappy that I have yet to get over Mariane. Then, she asked me a question which I thought was pretty funny.

"Eh. Why are you sending her a birthday card again?"

"Huh? The last time I sent her a birthday card was last year."

"Wa! So fast one year already ah?"

Yes. Time passes very quickly. It has been a year since Mariane received an ugly gift from me on her birthday twelve months ago.

Anyway, I started making a card for her since I don't have the time to rush out and buy one. Her birthday is in just nine days' time!

I'm not very contented with this card by the way. But I hope she likes it and it does not ruin her day. (Heehee.)

Spent over an hour on the cover and folding the paper flower.

Wasted many pieces of paper when deciding what to write on the inside of the card.

As for the back of the card, I wrote Daow's name when I suddenly remembered her and decided to wish Mariane a Happy Birthday on Daow's behalf. After all, Daow is very busy (like Mariane) but I'm sure she has not forgotten her birthday (like me) so I'm just doing my part as a friend.

Wee.

Good night, everyone.

Sweet dreams, Mariane.

Lousy Days

2006-07-19T17:09:00.000+08:00

Sprained knee.

Fever.

Sore throat.

Flu.

Blocked nose.

Runny nose.

Coughed out blood.

Lost my voice.

My body has never been so rotten before.

*sniff*

Yet, I got tortured by an old lady yesterday when I went to this Chinese medical shop. My right knee is no longer in pain but my mum wanted it to get fully well. So my poor leg received some silly traditional methods.

Acupuncture.

I'm awfully scared of needles.

There was also this suction method where they practically suck your flesh out. It hurt quite badly but the acupuncture was worse.

Phew.

And it's not over. I will have to go back to receive another round of treatment tomorrow. Please wish me luck although I'm sure it won't really make it better.

Actually, I was crying like a baby when I walked out of the clinic. It wasn't really due to the slight pain. Perhaps it's just because I just like to cry a lot and the tears came out naturally. My mum was pretty shocked to see me sobbing away and she told me that the next time I'm in pain, humming Denise Ho songs will help since I'm so in love with her.

Niahaha.

That's quite true.

But I wasn't really thinking about Denise when I was in pain.

It was Mariane.

*sigh*

Anyway, darling Mariane was interviewed recently and I hope to buy the magazine, Three Weekly or something like that. Help me look out for it please.

Interview can be found here.

Heehee.

Being A Teacher

2006-07-14T14:48:00.000+08:00

Many years ago, I had an ambition.

I wanted to be a teacher.

Back then, I felt that teachers are amazing people who make a huge difference to a child's life. For example, I remember all of my teachers from primary school and some from my kindergarten because I am truly grateful for what they have done for me.

Also, I like children.

However, I changed my mind about being a teacher recently.

If you have noticed, students are behaving horribly these days. In the past, it will be the pupils getting reprimanded by their teachers. But now, some teachers are even getting bullied by their pupils. Some teenagers are simply getting out of hand.

If you don't believe me, just observe how some youngsters behave on the streets. I may be one of those who behave like idiots.

Hahaha.

Besides, I think that every teacher is biased. No matter how kind the teacher is and how well he/she teaches, there just seems to be some favouritism shown among the pupils.

Of course, everything is unfair actually. Even life is unfair, so I can't really expect teachers to treat all their students the same, right? Sometimes, I'm biased too. If I become a teacher one day, some students will be getting gifts every day and some will be asked to wash the toilet.

*grin*

Anyway, I have decided that teaching just isn't suitable for an impatient git like me.

Well...

Some of my favourite teachers are from my primary school. Mrs Crayon has a special place in my heart. Mrs Phan teaches well and is nice. Ms Yu Man is special in a way that she can be warm and cold sometimes. Ms Sharon Liu is a very interesting teacher. Ms LMF is... Good.

In my secondary school, I have come to like a few teachers. Ms Janice is the babe whom everyone knows I like. (Haha.) Mrs Yong is someone I respect deeply because she made D&T one my of favourite subjects. Mrs Phyllis Geh is an English teacher who teaches with the heart. Ms Desiree Tan disappeared after impressing me for a few months last year. Ms Chen is a kind Chinese teacher.

And there's one more... Mdm Lee.

She has never taught me before but I have met her a few times when I had to switch CCA due to my lousy ankle. Because of that incident, she knows my name and yesterday, what she did was quite touching.

As I have sprained my knee recently, I can't exercise for a few weeks.

Instead of being like the other teachers who still forced me to run despite my injury, she showed concern for me. Mdm Lee actually told me to take good care of myself. When I heard that, I was quite surprised. The other teachers who knew that I am injured did not bother to be kind. Taking my moronic Maths teacher for an example, she looked like she thought that I was faking my sprain and kept making sarcastic remarks.

Whatever.

Teachers are great.

Eat Then Sleep

2006-07-13T17:19:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a spooky day.

In the afternoon, I took out a chocolate bar from the fridge and was about to share it with my mum when suddenly, she realised there was something wrong with it. There were a few holes in it and some round stuffs that looked and felt like chocolate powder.

I was about to lick the brown balls when my mum found a dead fly on the chocolate.

So the "chocolate powder" was the egg of the fly.

Apparently, the brainless insect managed to crawl its way into the chocolate bar and even lay its eggs on it. But it died either because it ate too much chocolate or it froze to death when I chuck the chocolate bar into my fridge.

Brrr.

I nearly ate a fly and egg-infested chocolate.

After realising that an insect had invaded my chocolate and its eggs were all over my hands, I started jumping up and down for no reason. Then, I rushed to the kitchen sink and washed my hands repeatedly.

Please save me.

Phew.

Another spooky thing was something that happened last night.

I was sleeping soundly (or at least I thought I was) when my father suddenly woke me up. Irritated, I ignored him and turned away. A while later, my mum appeared and shook me gently.

Well, if you know me well enough, the worst thing you can do is to disturb me in my sleep. So I was grumbling loudly to her to stop touching me.

"I want to sleep... I want to sleep!"

But this morning when I woke up, my mum told me what happened.

Apparently, my dad peeped into my bedroom to check on me. However, my body was sitting up and when it saw my dad, it pretended to fall asleep again.

Spooky isn't it?

I don't remember anything other than my parents shaking me like crazy.

Well, actually I have always been like that. For no rhyme or reason, I will sit up and stare at the people around me. Sometimes, I will even laugh all of a sudden and give my brother a heart attack.

Niahaha.

Anyway, I haven't been blogging much recently. I'm afraid that I haven't got a good excuse for that. Well, life has been pretty busy and school has occupied much of my time.

Yeah.

Bye.

Nineteen days to go...

Mistakes

2006-07-12T14:42:00.000+08:00

I made a few careless mistakes in my Maths test.

Oh man.

Anyway, my CCA is starting now so I have to sign out now.

Too bad.

It's a good thing that time passes quickly because it will be the weekend soon.

Hooray.

Reminiscing The Past

2006-07-07T15:21:00.000+08:00

For the next few entries, I will be writing about my past.

You may think that being a fourteen-year-old, I have nothing much to say. But actually, I think many things have happened in this fourteen years of my life. I have a complicated family, some amazing friends and met a few people who have influenced my life greatly.

I'm sure your life has many stories to tell too.

It's just that these days, people don't really bother thinking about simple things like this. We don't bother to appreciate the small things in lives that actually make a big difference. The society is so concerned about fame and power that few people I know are good people.

I have to admit I'm a horrible person. For my entire life, I have been commiting silly mistakes and sometimes even repeating them. I tell myself constantly to treasure my family and friends but somehow, my lousy attitude has yet to change.

Hopefully...

Anyway, I will start blogging about my past from the next entry onwards.

Now, I would like to tell you something about Denise Ho.

Niahaha.

It's so cool.

She posted a blog entry today at exactly 16:42:41. As I was surfing around Yahoo! Blog, I decided to check out the latest blog entries when all of a sudden, I saw Denise Ho's nickname right on the top, as if it was waiting for me to read.

*click*

I glanced through the entry for a while... And I was the first one to leave a comment at 16:43:59, which was a minute and eighteen seconds after she posted her entry!

Niahaha.

Isn't it funny how we seem to go so crazy over our idols? I mean, after all, they hardly even know us but yet we simply love them so much. Sometimes, it gets a little silly.

*sigh*

Twenty-five days to Mariane's birthday.

Feeling Weird Now

2006-07-05T14:45:00.000+08:00

Recently, I have been feeling weird. Pure weird.

Don't feel like talking.

Don't feel like blogging.

Don't feel like living.

But I don't feel like dying too.

Anyway, I hope that everyone will be happy always. Don't be moody like me because it's basically behaving like an idiot. Well, basically, I'm an idiot.

Woohoo.

Work and group projects are my least favourite things now.

Bye.

Super!

2006-07-03T21:33:00.000+08:00

I watched Superman Returns today.

It's a really cool movie. Exciting story, convincing cast and superb effects. It was actually a little scary because Superman was flying here, there and everywhere. Worst still, it frightened me when everything was being destroyed by that stupid bald guy.

Niahaha.

Yeah!

Superman!

Supermum!

I'm not talking rubbish because all mums are super. I mean, your mum is the one who gave birth to you. No matter what, she is always there for you.

Wee...

Super! Super! Super!

Haha... Superleaf.

But I can't even photosynthesise.

Chhh.

You Rock She Rocks

2006-07-02T21:55:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of Mariane last night and it was a perfect dream.

*sigh*

Everything took place in my house and Mariane was sitting in the living room. At first, I didn't really notice her, but suddenly, I realised that she was really in front of me. Thus, I walked to her and touched her hands to see if she was really there.

She smiled at me. My heart melted.

Somehow, I seemed to be able to feel her.

Crap right?

My dreams are normally stupid. But the dream I had last night was rather realistic (although I doubt she will ever enter my house) and I love Mariane as much as ever again.

Yeah!

There seems to be a funny thing with Mariane. Each time I wish to forget about her and keep her out of my mind, she just seems to keep occupying my thoughts. For example, recently I have been trying not to think of her and focus on my studies instead. Yet, she came into my dream last night.

Niahaha.

I guess this means that I have to send her something for her birthday. Probably an E-card, since my mum won't allow me to spend money on my darling Mariane anymore.

Wee... My dreams rock.

Today, I heard a song by Faye Wong and there is something very special about her songs... She is one of the few singers whom I think is really a star.

It is easy to be a singer but it is difficult to be a star.

Faye Wong. You rock.

As I shopped around NTUC with my mum, I kept hearing a song by Tanya Chua.

Tanya Chua. You rock.

I just chatted with CheryLee online for a few minutes.

CheryLee. You rock if you don't talk.

I was in a bread shop today when I heard a Chinese song by Candy Lo.

Candy Lo. You rock.

And of course...

Denise Ho. You rock.

Recently, Bondy Chiu opened a blog and her entries are pretty interesting.

Bondy Chiu. You rock.

Last but definitely not least...

Mum. You rock.

Mariane...

She rocks.

See you soon.

Bye.

Wait.

兄弟 by 何韻詩.

Music. You rock.

Sorry if I left you out. In fact, everyone rocks. You rock too.
(This reminds me of a Geography topic... Rocks & Landforms.)

Youths

2006-07-01T21:39:00.000+08:00

I will be watching Superman Returns with my mum on Monday. It seems like quite a good movie to catch so I'm looking forward to it and a box of salted popcorn.

Anyway, life has been pretty bland recently. The days have been boring and nothing interesting happened, other than the fact that I sprained my right knee.

I was somewhat disappointed that it was just a minor injury.

Silly me huh?

Perhaps it's because my life has been spent making silly mistakes and there is nothing more than that. I feel as if I'm just occupying a space on Earth and wasting it. Meaningless.

Toot.

Sometimes, being a teenager is a painful thing. The process of growing up is confusing and I really have no idea how to manage my life right now. A few weeks ago, my mum asked me to read a book. In it, there was a part on growing up.

All forms of attachment will end in sorrow. Neither tears nor long goodbyes can end the transience of life. All compounded things are impermanent.
Both the old and young suffer in this existence. No one is exempted. Many teenagers have growing pains. Being neither frogs nor tadpoles, teenagers are understandably inexperienced at building stable relationships with members of the opposite sex. They try to show off their attractiveness in trying to impress the members of the opposite sex, who are flattered to see themselves as sex objects. Both try not to behave as they really are, but as what they think is adult. They are afraid that if they behave naturally, they will be laughed at. This type of behavior has the potential of being exploited. There is fear of rejection as well as worry about deflated egos. Unrequited love will often 'break' many teenage hearts because they feel they have made 'fools of themselves'...

I really agree that all forms of attachment will end in sorrow. If you love your dog deeply, you will feel devastated when it dies. When the person you love most leaves you, it feels as if the whole world just collapsed on you and your heart has been crushed into pieces.

But I think the problem teenagers face is not only impressing the opposite sex. That isn't the most important. (I don't mean that impressing the same sex is more important. Haha.)

It's just that there are so many factors that I do not know which to begin with.

Well... I'm still feeling horrible and haven't got the mood to blog. I think you won't have the mood to read my blog either, as it has been just rubbish entries recently.

Bye.

Ouch

2006-06-30T21:54:00.000+08:00

Swelling knee.

Well, at least it wasn't as serious as I thought and it's not as painful now.

Can't exercise though.

Bleugh.

Can't blog.

No mood.

Bye.

Mushroom Head

2006-06-29T09:17:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, this schoolmate of mine suddenly told me that my new hairstyle looks like a mushroom. I hardly even know her but suddenly, she just started saying all these to me.

If it was in the past, I would have been very offended to hear someone I hardly know telling me that my head is in the shape of a mushroom. However, I wasn't very annoyed yesterday.

Why?

Well, actually if you notice it, Denise Ho's nickname has got something to do with mushroom.

So, even if you called me a mushroom person, I don't mind now.

Yeah.

Back to lesson.

Ha.

Work Harder

2006-06-26T17:18:00.000+08:00

I went to school this morning moodily, with my face as black as charcoal.

The first day of Term 3...

How good can it be?

Surprisingly, I returned home rather pleased.

Nothing extraordinary happened. In fact, it was a rather boring day and the lessons were all boring except Enrichment, when we had to learn inline skating.

Cool.

But the reason why I feel glad is because I have accepted life.

A few nights ago, I had an hour-long conversation with my mother. We chatted about various things, from studying in Singapore to the various facts of life. Somehow, I felt quite refreshed after talking to her, but I realised that life isn't what I made it out to be.

Actually, I face a lot of responsibility.

I'm not sure about you but for me, I must be able to support both of my parents when they grow old. My father is in debts (it's not so serious though) and my parents do not have any savings. Apparently, when they are too old to work anymore, my salary alone must be able to provide for both of my parents and myself.

Scary.

Mum says she doesn't want to rely on my brother because he is someone who can't be bothered to do anything else other than dating. To him, his girlfriend is everything.

*sigh*

Therefore, I'm uncertain of what to do now, other than studying hard.

It seems that when I grow up, I won't be able to do what I wish to do. All the jobs which my mum suggested to me sound horrible. I'm not someone who does something for the benefit of it. I do something because I like it.

Anyway, it's back to studying for me.

Less of dreaming, thinking, playing and being myself.

This is a music video of Denise Ho. It's one of the few songs my mum like. Ha.

Enjoy 絕對 by darling 何韻詩. *wink*

Consoling Food

2006-06-24T22:00:00.000+08:00

School is commencing on Monday and my heart is feeling heavy...

*sigh*

Anyway, it isn't so bad after all because I have been indulging myself in good food during the holidays! My determination to lose weight isn't as strong as my desire to eat... Niahaha.

Yeah!

Small Aunt treated my mum, brother, grandmother and me to dinner yesterday. We went to Quality Hotel for this superb vegetarian buffet and it was really enjoyable. The best thing was that the meal was guilt-free because it was vegetarian and not a single animal was killed to satisfy our hunger.

Sorry to all plants out there.

The bad thing was that the price was rather high... It cost more than twenty dollars for a person to dine in and my poor aunt had to pay for all of us.

Mmm. Too bad.

Today, my mum and I decided to treat ourselves to...

Hong Kong Cafe!

Honestly, it is quite an expensive place to go to but it's okay to pamper ourselves once in a while.

Right?

It doesn't look good in this picture but my Portuguese Baked Chicken Chop Rice was delicious!

Toast. Perfect.

My mum and I hesitated while drinking this cup of Yin-Yang (great combination of coffee and tea) because each gulp of it cost about fifty cents. This small cup cost two over dollars...

Worth it.

At least I don't feel so terrified of school now.

Ha. Food therapy works the best.

Sweet dreams.

Innocent Me

2006-06-22T21:41:00.000+08:00

Bad.

I had just finished my dinner when I saw a young couple coming into the coffee shop to buy their meals. The guy ordered some dishes and then stood next to a tank which contained a few live crabs. He started using a pair of tongs to disturb a poor crab and it struggled desperately to move away.

To me, it seemed like a very cruel act to make fun of an animal which is about to die. The crabs will die soon and that must be depressing for them already. Yet, they are still being disturbed by a stupid and childish man.

I mean, can you imagine being kept in a container? You are faced with all your predators who are going to cook you for dinner and obviously, you are terrified. All of a sudden, a monster appears and uses a weapon to prod you.

Hey. Animals have feelings too.

Thus, I voiced out my opinions to my mum and scolded the guy behind his back. After all, shouldn't an adult behave more maturedly? Why is he being so childish?

All of a sudden, my mum called me innocent.

I tried not to laugh.

Yes, all along I have been a childish person who will cry over the silliest things on Earth. But recently, I have not been very innocent.

That's right. I'm sick, not innocent.

Ha.

I'm that sort of person who like a woman a lot after just seeing her once. I'm that sort of person who will tell dirty jokes to a whole group of friends. I'm that sort of person who will teach my friends the various parts of men and women. I'm the sort of person who watches news because Cheryl Fox is hot.

How can I be innocent?

Imagine myself during a job interview... Everything is going well and I may very well be hired when suddenly, I say to the interviewer, "Hey babe. You have a nice butt."

See what I mean?

Niahaha.

Time for me to admire Ada Choi on television.

Death

2006-06-21T17:45:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered why good people die and evil people live?

For example, when a war breaks out, the lives of many innocent human beings are taken away from them. Instead, the evil fellows survive and are allowed to live.

Life has always been unfair.

Flip through the newspaper and you will read about talented young adults dying in accidents. These people have a bright future. They have yet to achieve their dreams, but a second is what it takes to destroy their entire lives.

Yet, people who commit crimes are not facing their punishment dutifully.

I don't understand how murderers can actually chop up their victims into various pieces after taking their lives. Killing a person is heartless enough, and severing the body is way too cruel.

Hmmm.

Maybe it's because death is the end of all sufferings.

Most people think of death as an inauspicious matter, but it remains as a fact that everyone will die sooner or later. Of course, I'm not saying that you can go around cursing people to hell, but there is nothing wrong to talk about dying.

I can imagine myself dying all of a sudden...

My family members will probably be in shock and feel devastated about it. My classmates will probably think that I am just appearing in the obituary for fun. My stupid teachers will be happy to get rid of an idiotic student.

Fine.

Let's be serious.

What will you do if today is the last day you can spent on Earth?

I'm sorry, but I have to mention Denise Ho. You must be wondering why is it that I have to include my idol even in such a serious topic, but it's because she mentioned something which I think is very true.

"Share your love with people today, as they may be gone tomorrow."

Isn't it true?

It is awful to disregard your loved ones when they are alive and start grieving only when they die. My grandmother has never been kind to her husband but when my grandfather died, she cried her lungs out.

Regretting your actions will never bring your loved ones back.

Treasure them when they are alive.

Treasure them when you are alive.

Okay?

Let's work together and start sharing our love for people.

Anyway, I feel like dying now because Term 3 is just five days away. Oh man...

Alone

2006-06-20T21:58:00.000+08:00

I love to be alone.

I just realised that I don't like hanging around with people at all. Instead, I love staying in my bedroom by myself. Being lost in my own world is a great feeling.

Yeah.

From now on, I'm going to stay alone.

Well, at least until someone like Mariane or Denise passes by...

Niahaha.

Anyway, today has been pretty boring. But when I read the newspaper this morning, I was actually infuriated by a news report about Ekin Cheng, Gigi Leung and my dear Maggie Shiu. It seems that no matter what, Maggie seems to be the victim.

Many years ago, she was pushed to one side and had to face the stares of people.

Now, after so many years, she is pushed to the centre of all the unwanted media attention and is included in negative news reports which actually do not concern her. Even though everything has come to an end, the three of them are still being harassed.

Ekin... No comment.

Gigi... No comment.

Maggie... Just be yourself and stay happy.

The worst thing is that our local newspaper wrote only the negative points about them. Maggie's surname was even spelt wrongly and the photo of her was taken from many years ago.

*sigh*

Leave them alone.

Three Dreams In A Night

2006-06-19T18:33:00.000+08:00

I had three dreams last night.

One was positive, one was negative and the last one was neutral.

The good dream consisted of my all-time favourite singer, Denise Ho. She appeared to be my buddy and we seemed quite close to each other.

Awww.

I can't remember all the other characters in the dream but Francine was in it. She's another fan of Denise Ho whom I got to know recently.

The best part of the dream was that Denise and I were rather intimate.

Ha.

Don't think dirty.

I was also quite glad because I dreamt that Eason Chan and his wife, Hilary Tsui, will be holding a concert together in Singapore. Also, Joey Yung will have a concert with Denise Ho guest-starring in it.

Cool dream.

However, it ended abruptly and I was transported into a weirder dream.

Innocent me was in a toilet when a baby appeared.

*sigh*

As for my other dream, well... I can't really remember it but I know it's related to my mum.

Hmmm.

Then I woke up and got ready to eat at Beach Road Prawn Mee with my mum. After lunch, I boarded a bus to the library and met two classmates there for a project discussion. Thankfully, we were not chased out this time.

Yeah.

Days have been boring recently so I have little inspiration for a good blog entry.

Bye.

Seven Days

2006-06-18T22:36:00.000+08:00

Our time has come.

In just another week's time, I will have to drag myself to school and try to adjust into a stressful lifestyle again. Work will be burying me and I may not have the time to blog as often.

Worse, I'm worried that I will do badly for Term 3 because lazy me has not been studying at all for the past three weeks. Maybe I will fail a few tests and get lousy results once more. I feel so disappointed in myself.

*wake up*

Okay.

I promise myself that I will finish my holiday assignments soon.

I promise myself that I will revise my study materials well.

I promise myself that I will stop daydreaming.

I promise myself that I will read blogs less often.

I promise myself that I will practise my Maths more often.

I promise myself that I will force myself to be interested in Science and other horrible subjects which I have never liked.

I promise myself that I will be able to get good grades this year.

Actually, the last promise is for my mum's sake because if I get good grades, I get a bursary from the government. As you know, getting a little money is beneficial to my poor family.

Well, that's seven promises already. Let me make it eight.

I promise myself that I will stop thinking of Mariane for an entire semester.

Then when the end-of-year holidays come, I will start thinking of her again. This will probably mean that I may not be sending her anything for her birthday. But forgetting her for a few months is good in a way because I will be less distracted and can finally focus on my study.

Yeah.

Seeing Stars

2006-06-17T22:19:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel like I am seeing stars when I see stars.

Don't understand huh?

Niahaha.

Today, I was shopping for groceries with my mum when I saw Lim Yu-Beng and Tan Kheng Hua with their daughter. In case you have no idea who they are...

Well, too bad then.

Ha.

I was pretty surprised to see them together in a supermarket so I was admiring them from afar because usually, celebrities look much better in reality. Appearing on screen actually makes them look slightly fatter...

Anyway, Tan Kheng Hua is really pleasant-looking in person and she behaves quite elegantly. Her daughter is adorable and Lim Yu-Beng is pretty good-looking!

But as usual, I was being stupid.

As I looked towards Lim Yu-Beng and his daughter, I didn't notice Tan Kheng Hua walking right in front of me. Thus, I nearly banged into her.

Nearly.

When I saw her face just inches away, I felt so embarrassed that I kinda bowed my head in shame. My mum was laughing at me because I seemed so afraid of an actress and the fact that I nearly kissed her.

It turned out that actually, Tan Kheng Hua did not even noticed me near her.

Niahaha.

She's quite cool!

After a while, I lost sight of them and carried on shopping around Parkway Parade.

Have you ever wondered why is it that we go so crazy over celebrities?

After all, they are normal people like us and basically, they live their own lives. Yet, we are always amazed by the way they behave and practically everything that concerns our idols.

I have spotted quite a few celebrities so far. Normally, they are Singapore actors such as Bryan Wong, Vincent Ng, Michelle Chia and Gurmit Singh but I saw this very special Hong Kong fellow that day.

Patrick Tse.

Niahaha.

A few nights ago, I even dreamt of Ann Kok. Gosh... She's so gorgeous even in my dreams.

I'm quite upset that I haven't seen any celebrities I really like but I've only myself to blame because I missed my chance to see at17, Chet Lam and Tanya Chua last week. Haha, actually I can't imagine myself meeting my idols in reality.

If I meet Denise Ho...

I will bow my head so low that she will most probably knock on my head and ask, "Hey! Anyone there?" Haha. Well, and then I will start shaking like mad.

If I meet Mariane...

I will bow my head so low that it drops off. Then it will be bouncing all around and Mariane will catch it and toss it into a rubbish bin.

Niahaha.

Lame ol' me.

Bye.

Confession

2006-06-16T15:59:00.000+08:00

I really wish to tell you this.

I'm afraid that one day that when I cannot remember anything...

Or when I leave this world...

I will definitely regret not telling you this.

But I'm afraid that when I say this, you will leave me.

So, I have never dared to tell you until now.

I...

I...

I...

I...

I...

I...

I...

I...

I...

I...

I wish to...

I wish to tell you that...

You are really stupid!

Niahaha.

This blog entry is not entirely my idea. It was first written in Chinese by 25 on his blog. Feel free to visit it here.

Quitting You

2006-06-14T17:42:00.000+08:00

At times, I really wonder what you are like in reality.

Are you like what I imagine you out to be or are you completely different?

Perhaps, you are merely pretending to be favourable in front of everyone. Maybe, we are all being tricked by the way you behave amongst us.

Probably, you are exactly the opposite of what we all make you out to be.

I wish that I am able to quit you.

Yet, I feel the need to hold on to your hands behind a thick wall. I understand that you may think of me as nothing, but no matter what, I will still be behind you and egging you on.

Am I stupid or are you an idiot?

The day we meet will determine everything I have been questioning about you.

I wish to meet you one day. At the same time, I don't ever want to find out the truth about you.

But if you are indeed so different, I will start learning how to give up.

I will.

Lalalalalalalalalalala... Life sucks.

Doing Work

2006-06-14T16:10:00.000+08:00

I was typing a rather long entry a while ago when everything disappeared suddenly. Somehow, I could not recover the post. Oh man... That was a huge waste of time.

Anyway, I'm typing a script now and it's hard work.

Phew.

Well, at least I have my music to accompany me.

Denise Ho, Eason Chan, Candy Lo, Bondy Chiu and Stephanie Che... These are just some of my favourite singers who can really sing.

Yeah.

Time for me to continue my work.

Work hard, Mariane.

Haha...

Exhausted

2006-06-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

I'm tired of being myself.

Exhausted of loving people who are difficult to love...

I wish to leave myself behind and seek a better life.

But this is my soul, my fate and my life.

Even when we are feeling down, we have to start thinking positively in order to pick ourselves up again. No matter what, we should not give up, because there are miracles in life.

For all you know, tomorrow may be a better day.

After all, tomorrow is another day.

In order to live through the many ordeals we face daily, we must strive on to see the ray of light at the end of this dark tunnel. Just keep struggling through, and you will make it.

As you look up to the sky, you realise that there are guardian angels looking down at you, hoping that you are well and fine. When you look around you, there are your loved ones hoping all the best for you.

Even when you may not have not met anyone who has openly admitted to you that she loves you and that you mean everything to her, there is always a someone else somewhere. Think of the person, and you may come to realise that...

Acceptance is the most important.

Love the people who love you and forgive their mistakes if they did not meant them to hurt you.

Meanwhile, continue to love the people you love because although they may not treasure you, it is important to have a hope in your life. As long as you think of this wish, you will find everything beautiful.

I know this blog entry is weird... This is what I will write when I'm so exhausted living in this world. *sigh*

Mariane Days

2006-06-10T22:06:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of Mariane last night.

Woohoo!

It was really cool because I have not dreamt of her for quite a long time. Besides, the dream was pretty sweet.

Awww.

But somehow, it wasn't really perfect because my classmates suddenly appeared.

I was hanging out with my darling Mariane contentedly when all of a sudden, Rach Teo and CheryLee came into my dream and started behaving childishly. Rach seemed to be quite thrilled to see Mariane and chatted with her jovially while CheryLee just kept bugging me.

I can't even have a peaceful time with Mariane even in my dreams.

Niahaha.

The most ridiculous part was when veteran actress, Helena Lo Lan, suddenly became my mum.

*gasp*

Well, that's Helena on the left. She was the spokesperson for Healthy International Limited, the company which belongs to Mariane (who's obviously on the right) and you may find her familiar as she has acted in many movies and drama serials as a crazy old woman.

Yeah. I still don't know why she acted as my mum last night.

In case you are confused, the characters involved in my dream last night were Mariane, Helena, my classmates (Rach Teo & CheryLee) and me. That's a very weird combination.

It all started in a small, enclosed room. Somehow, I spotted Mariane with another lady (most probably a new model for Mariane's company) and they seemed to be having a photo shoot for a new range of advertisements. Being an ass for taking photographs, I whipped out a digital camera from the air and started taking pictures of Mariane.

Unexpectedly, Mariane asked me in blurry Cantonese, "Why are you taking our photos? I came into here (this dark room) because I did not want any reporter to photograph us."

Thus, I replied in my weird Cantonese that I wasn't a reporter and Mariane actually laughed and grinned at me! Oh man. This is a dumb part of the dream but I love her.

In case you have no idea, Mariane's smile and laughter are exceptionally precious to me. Whenever she grins or giggles, my day just brightens up and my heart will immediately turn into candy floss.

She is just so special.

Anyway, just when we seemed to be having a lovely time together, Rach Teo and Cherylee popped up. Somehow, Rach seemed to like Mariane and started snatching her away from me while CheryLee giggled like a lunatic and spoiled the atmosphere of my dream.

*growl*

There was also a part when Mariane asked me to hold her mobile phone for a while and when I returned it to her, she said a really gentle "Thanks".

Oof.

But I noticed that she had a pink Motorola RAZR in the dream but she seems to have a Nokia beige phone in reality. Haha... My dream is so fake.

After the delightful mobile phone incident, Mariane, Rach, CheryLee and I walked to my school canteen. I don't why but we were transported into my stupid school. Mariane asked for chicken pie but I bought her Rojak and she didn't like it.

Niahaha.

That was when Helena turned up. She looked very gloomy and was staring at Mariane although in reality, both of them get along very well!

After a few moments, we were suddenly in an airport. Mariane wanted to go back to Hong Kong so all of us were going to send her off when I realised that CheryLee was no longer with us as she got lost.

Oh man.

The worst thing was that I suddenly woke up from my dream.

Damn!

Back to reality...

It was only eight o'clock in the morning but my retarded brother's alarm clock started ringing like mad. It was all because of this that my magical dream ended.

What a waste.

By the way, I saw someone who looked very much like Mariane yesterday.

My parents and I had gone to Changi Airport to welcome my dad's Thai friends. I had no choice but to tag along and I was feeling bored in the Arrival Hall when I noticed someone who has a splitting image of Mariane.

Woah.

But as I observed that lady, I realised that she didn't really have the Mariane Factor so it couldn't have been her... Besides, the lady was in a tour group, sat on a plane from Thailand and was surrounded by people speaking Thai. It's most likely that she's a Thai too.

Well well well.

I'm still feeling exhilarated of my dream last night.

Thanks for letting me dream of you. It may be impossible to meet you in reality so just seeing you in my dreams is a blessing.

Yeah.

Bye!

Busy Me

2006-06-08T20:43:00.000+08:00

I have decided to be hard-working from now on.

It is definitely time to finish up all of my holiday assignments. Recently, I have been relaxing too much so I have not really achieved much for the past few days.

Add oil, leaf.ling!

For the remaining weeks of the holidays, I will not be coming online to play or chat often. Perhaps, I may be appearing offline and updating my blog once in a while but that's all I can manage. It's better to work hard and not waste my school days away idling around. I'm certain that when I become a working adult, I will regret not studying hard enough.

*sigh*

Let the battle begin.

Cheers... May everyone I love be happy always.

Cheesegg Noodles

2006-06-07T14:28:00.000+08:00

My mum finally allowed me to cook by myself today!

Therefore, I cooked my very first bowl of instant noodles for lunch.

Of course, I am not boasting or anything because I know that at this age, it is simply appropriate to be able to cook. However, I feel quite proud of myself as I managed to operate my kitchen's faulty gas stove without burning my house down.

Woohoo!

Honestly, I have always been a weird eater. Sometimes, while eating a plate of rice, I will pour a can of soft drink into it and enjoy my meal just like that. (But of course, I always have to make sure my mum isn't looking.)

Like some kids, I don't eat my vegetables. I love dumplings but when they contain parsley, this will be how it looks like after I eat.

My mum gave the bowl of dumpling noodles a look and said laughingly, "Wa, don't eat also must put in a row ah?" Hehe.

Okay, back to my lunch. I got ready a packet of Myojo Noodles and a poor chicken egg before starting to cook. (I did not pour the whole packet of the seasoning powder though. It contains too much MSG for my liking.)

Everything was a success just that the noodles were slightly soggy and the egg was accidentally burst. Hey! This is the first time I'm cooking, okay!

Looks great ya? But I found it too boring and decided to experiment with one more ingredient.

I found a packet of cheese slices in the fridge so...

Cheesegg Noodles! That's the name I have just given to this bowl of noodles which contains both cheese and egg... Obviously.

Anyway, it tasted fabulous! The cheese melted into the soup so there was this really special taste. Oh... I want my Cheesegg Noodles again.

Yum. Anyway, as I was using both of my hands to hold the camera, I came up with a good idea to keep the chopsticks steady.

Tada!

And I burped with satisfaction. *wink*

Hmmm... There's something very wrong with my brother. He came back home, locked himself up in the bedroom and started shouting and crying into the phone. Oh well... I have seen many cases of relationship failures and have already learnt how to stay away from them. Bless all the happy couples on Earth. (And of course those who are smart enough to steer clear of relationships too.)

Bus Uncle Remix

2006-06-05T13:35:00.000+08:00

This is a hilarious remix of Bus Uncle.

Niahaha!

I'm starting to go crazy over YouTube recently. It's time to calm myself down. Whew.

Communication

2006-06-05T12:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I feel that technology should not be so advanced.

In the past, whenever we wished to contact an old friend, we would write her a letter or call her on the phone. Hearing that familiar voice and reading the handwriting you have not come across for a long time would have been a happy moment.

Personally, I think writing a letter is much more sincere. I feel that writing one requires a lot of thinking and patience. Most importantly, there are not many people who are willing to spend so much time on a piece of paper.

However, now that technology is much more advanced, each time we wish to contact someone, it will normally be by sending an E-mail or an SMS. Sure, there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that. But once in a while, it really gets on my nerves when my friends send stuffs to my E-mail account or to my mobile phone and blame me when I don't reply to them in time. Hey! It has never been a habit to check my inbox everyday. If you really need to reach me urgently, call me on the phone!

I guess that people use such advanced ways to communicate because life is getting much busier these days. It's time to slow down, take a deep breath, and reflect on everything.

There is a song sung by at17 which I really like. I think that their songs are always very meaningful and Chet Lam is one capable composer and lyricist.

Take a look at the lyric and if you don't understand the Chinese, I'm sure you can read the part with English wordings.

衝衝衝
曲：林一峰
詞：林一峰
編曲：何山@PixelToy
監製：李端嫻@人山人海

全力追拚命趕上這班車
憑一秒一天之計算準了
坐上巴士閉著眼睛
想起那會議心亦跳快了
不怎麼高興

* Take your time,
gotta take it slow,
Everything will be okay
衝衝衝還是要剎掣
一秒之間來定轉機
交通燈從未放過我
誰料轉角極明媚
交叉點迎面碰上你
一秒之間能獲轉機

全力追也趕不上這班車
遲一秒一天之計要改變
地鐵擠逼更壞透心情
手機上落太匆忙跌碎了
今天真高興

還下雨到電話亭卻滲水
快要哭了我共你企作一對
每天相見沒膽量結識
一笑你號碼寫我手掌心
即飛奔遠去

Repeat *

Take your time, gotta take it slow
Everything will be okay
What a game, what a twist of fate
And one second's what it takes
I don't care what the people say
I just wanna go my way
What a game, what a twist of faith
And one second's what it takes

Repeat * twice

Durians

2006-06-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

My mum and I (two greedy pigs) bought two durians and ate them all by ourselves today. One of them costs five dollars, so we spent ten bucks altogether for our supper.

*gasp*

Niahaha.

Both of them tasted pretty good. However, it was the first time we ate durians that were so sweet! While eating, we were even wondering whether there was sugar added in them or for all you know, the durian trees may have been watered with sugar syrup.

Of course, we were just joking.

Anyway, it was very satisfying eating them and seeing the remaining durian seeds scattered in the box. After licking my fingers until my skin nearly peeled, I drank a few cups of water and the feeling was great.

Shiokin'.

Oh well. But I have to stop eating so much.

Tsk.

My mum just allowed me to watch Pop Village and I really hope to be able to go. After all, I'm starting to be slightly crazy over at17 and it's a really cool chance to see them in real. Yeah? Both Eman and Ellen are great performers and since Chet Lam will be there too, it is assured to be an enjoyable time watching them sing (and most likely playing their guitars too) together.

*sigh*

Pay for me and I will book the tickets immediately.

Durian ah. Durian.

Gong Shi Jia (Singapore)
Chua Lee Lian (Singapore)
Jai (Singapore)
B-Quartet (Singapore)
Addy Rasidi (Singapore)
Tanya Chua (Singapore)
Tank (Taiwan)
Chet Lam (Hong Kong)
at17 (Hong Kong)

I think that Tanya Chua, Chet Lam and at17 rock!

If you like them or the others, accompany me.

You pay for yourself.

Bus Uncle

2006-06-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

Have you watched this yet?

I strongly recommend you to do so.

If it's too blur, I guess you have to visit YouTube to adjust the size of the screen then.

Basically, it's about an old man scolding a young man on a bus in Hong Kong. You may think it's hilarious, but personally, I feel that people are getting too hot-tempered for their own good these days.

Just like me.

Niahaha.

Anyway, if you don't understand Cantonese, just read the English subtitles instead. The Chinese subtitle is actually in Cantonese too so you may not understand that either... No?

Well well well.

So are people behaving horribly due to stress? Or does the problem lie in how people manage their life?

But whatever you do, just don't offend that uncle in front of you.

Strange Feeling

2006-06-01T18:04:00.000+08:00

Mmm. I feel very awkward now.

Somehow, I wish I can just move on with life and ignore everything that has been happening. I don't know whether what I have been doing all along is right or wrong. I don't know whether she will accept it or not. I don't know why, but I feel like quitting right now.

It's been tiring being patient and waiting for a miracle to happen.

Is this what it's supposed to be like?

I've seen people who have had it easy. They don't seem to come across any difficulty at all. But to me, probably due to the wrong timing, I feel that everything is suddenly my fault.

What's wrong with me?

Or is there nothing wrong with me? Is it just a wrong decision and should I continue committing this mistake? Is this a mistake in the first place? Perhaps this is just a phase of my life which I have to go through?

Should I give up?

Yet, why should I give up so easily?

I'm waiting for that miracle to happen. It has appeared many times in my dreams. This dream is possible, but at the same time, I think it's impossible.

Is everything just a dream?

Fun?

2006-06-01T13:46:00.000+08:00

It's the school holidays now but somehow, it does not feel like it.

Despite the fact that we don't have to go to school on weekdays, there are so many projects that it seems to be busier than a normal school day. Of course, I don't wish for Term 3 to come so soon but honestly, I'm waiting for my end-of-year holidays to arrive because that's the only time I can relax without worrying about homework and projects.

May all school children be blessed during the June holidays.

Cheers.

This is an incomplete list of what I have to finish by the end of the holidays. Obviously, there are other assignments but these five should be the most important.

1. Chinese Filming
2. Mathematics Solving
3. Literature Drama & Script
4. Geography FPS
5. History PBA

I'm not as busy as Mariane, of course.

Right now, I'm watching a video clip of her so I kinda miss her quite a lot.

However, I don't think I will be sending her anything for her birthday gift this year. She must be very busy and I don't wish to disturb her.

But she's still in my heart.

Yeah. Does that sound weird?

Bye.

Annoyance

2006-05-31T21:28:00.000+08:00

Humans are weird. They always get angry at various people or things.

I'm like that too.

But I think I'm most annoyed with myself.

You?

Each time we humans do something on impulse, the people around us get hurt physically or emotionally. Then we will start regretting doing it in the first place. We apologise to our loved ones for causing them so much hurt and promise never to do it again.

Just when we have already learnt from our mistakes...

Just when the people we love are willing to forgive us for our mistakes...

Just when we think that it will be the last time we commit the same mistake...

We do it again.

Very often, we do or say things without thinking. Probably we don't really mean it. Perhaps, what we do or say is simply the truth that has been hidden for a long time and we can't help spilling our real feelings out because they have been concealed for too long.

Despite the fact that we think it's not our fault, we will apologise.

But it will start all over again.

For years, I have been trying to change. In my life, I have made many mistakes. Some are minor mistakes which do not really matter. However, there have been major incidents which I will bring with me to my next life guiltily.

My bad temper and foolishness have caused many people to be angry at me, and for me to be annoyed with myself. But I'm not blaming my character. I dislike people who say that it's not their fault as they simply have a bad temper which they cannot get rid of.

That temper is in you. Don't tell me you are not you?

Amithabha.

It's time for me to adapt a better attitude.

I need to learn how to treasure my loved ones, my life and everything that is surrounding me. But at the same time, I need to detach myself from unnecessary burdens or I will never find peace.

Do you find me difficult to understand?

Yeah.

Bye.

My Nephew & Me

2006-05-29T21:24:00.000+08:00

Since it's the school holidays now, I can see my darling nephew again!

Today, I went to visit him and we had an enjoyable time together playing silly games.

Yay.

Anyway, his nickname is Eeyore because I think he looks like a blur donkey.

Eeyore is 10 years younger than me so obviously, he's four years old this year. Well, he's quite a naughty child and tends to behave quite weirdly sometimes. In the past, he would ignore me whenever I visited him. Often, he would play with his toys instead. But today, both of us went crazy and played with each other.

All of a sudden, I started behaving like a four-year-old kid.

I guess you can't imagine that.

Honestly, being a child is really great. I really miss having childlike thoughts and being a pure innocent kid. Back then, we were like a plain piece of white paper. But as we grow older, we are stained, torn and vandalised.

*sigh*

My nephew is so cute.

We were playing half-way when he suddenly lay down in front of me and flashed his cutest grin. Thinking that it was a good time to take pictures of him, I whipped out my mobile phone and started snapping away. Although the images are not very clear, they are still very dear to me because today has been a really memorable day.

You can say that it's one of the few times my nephew and I are bonding together.

After having a short photo-taking session, we continued having fun and doing stuffs like pillow fights and acting out the story of Little Red Riding Hood. Obviously, I had to act as the wolf and my girlie nephew acted as the naive girl wearing the stupid hood.

Niahaha.

We were running about in my uncle's office (it's just a small room in the big house) when Eeyore kissed me on the cheeks. That was really sweet of him because normally, his grandmother (my aunt) has to force him to give people a peck on their faces.

Then he started giggling like crazy and ran off.

Yeah man.

Fine Day

2006-05-27T21:25:00.000+08:00

Today is pretty good.

My mum and I went hunting for a reputable hair salon and surprisingly, we took about an hour to find one. We walked into both Roxy Square I and II to look for it and finally, I managed to get my hair cut in Roxy Square II.

My hair is rather short now.

Wee...

Dory, a nickname which I have just given to my new hairdresser, is a really friendly person. She's a rather pretty lady and her voice is deep and nice... While cutting my hair, my mum started chatting with her and we got to know quite a lot about her.

She currently stays in Tampines but she used to reside in Marine Drive. She has a nine-year-old son and a six-year-old daughter and they are both students of Tao Nan School... Just like me!

Okay.

Believe it or not, I'm starting to go crazy over my hairdresser.

Niahaha.

My mum actually said to me that she looks like "Mariane/Mariann" and I was quite shocked so I asked which Mariane/Mariann she was referring to. Obviously, my mum got a little pissed that I always think about Mariane Chan, my darling, and she said with a bored look on her face, "Mariann lah. That optometrist..."

Chay.

After cutting my hair, we walked to Parkway Parade when all of a sudden, we noticed three celebrities right in front of us. Michelle Chia, Bryan Wong and Vincent Ng were filming a show and because of that, my mum and I took a longer route in order not to be on the camera...

Michelle Chia is so cute.

*wink*

Then, we went shopping for a while and I spotted a Denise Ho CD!

I got rather happy but suddenly remembered that I'm not supposed to splurge my money on a silly album anymore now that my family is in a bad state. So, I had no choice but to leave that CD on the shelf.

*sigh*

I shall go CD-hunting when I save enough money.

Yeah.

Bye.

Crying For Her

2006-05-26T17:03:00.000+08:00

Today, my Science teacher officially announced that she won't be teaching us again next term. When I heard that, I kinda cried.

Okay.

I cried.

But somehow, no one noticed me crying at all. Thank goodness for that.

You probably think of me as a very tough, idiotic and hard-hearted person. I do admit that most of the time, I'm like that. But I can't control my tears when I am really unhappy. Therefore, I cry a lot.

*sniff*

If you secretly install a video camera in my room, you will know that I cry at least once a fortnight, sometimes over the silliest things on Earth. Whenever I feel like it, I will cry. As I listen to my favourite song, I can suddenly be struck by it and break into tears. Sometimes, without knowing it myself, the stupid tears just escape from my eyes.

It's as if my eyes are spoilt.

This should be the second time I cam crying for one of my secondary school teachers. The first time was when the English teacher I had last year, Mrs Geh, suddenly said that she was going to resign. All of us were shocked. Obviously, tears sprang to my eyes and when I noticed her looking at me, I immediately turned away.

As for today, when my Science teacher, Mrs Diane Ang, said she was not going to teach us next term, I had to fight back my tears which was suddenly activated. Thankfully, I managed to wipe them away after they exploded out of my eyes without warning.

When she walked out of the class, my class actually cheered for her. I don't know if my classmates cheered because they were glad to see her go, but I cheered because I wanted to give her a warm goodbye.

Yeah.

Cheers to my teachers and classmates.

Not all though.

Not Bored With Pop

2006-05-24T16:09:00.000+08:00

I am so bored.

I feel like sleeping continuously for days.

Anyway, does anyone want to attend a concert with me? It features Tanya Chua, Chet Lam, At17 and some other musicians.

Pop Village

Date: 10 & 11 June

Venue: Fort Canning Park

Time:
From 3pm

Ticket: $25 per day* / $40 for 2-day pass*

*20% discount for full-time students, senior
citizens and NSF.

I want to watch it on the 11th of June but since I have no one to go with me, I guess I won't be able to go then. Although meeting At17 and Chet Lam will be great, this is just another silly dream of mine.

Everything seems to be a dream.

*sigh*

This Friend

2006-05-22T17:46:00.000+08:00

I think I'm quite a horrible friend.

Normally, I don't really treat my pals well unless we separate for a period of time. For example, I started treasuring my primary school friends only when I went on to secondary school.

It was already too late to amend for my unreasonable attitude in the past.

As friends, it is only correct to respect and treat one another equally. I have to admit that I am always the idiot in most of my friendships.

Well well well.

I guess I have to get rid of this stupid character of mine soon.

To those friends whom I have not appreciated...

Sorry.

Melting

2006-05-20T21:39:00.000+08:00

It has been terribly hot these few days and the temperature has caused my temper to rise. But somehow, the fats on my body does not melt. *grin*

Anyway, don't offend me or I will pour wasabi into your mouth.

Niahaha.

The stupid thing is that I just ate steamboat. It's quite silly. We should have eaten something like cold ramen or anything that isn't burning hot. Or if we can't afford eating at a Japanese restaurant, then perhaps we can have cold instant noodles.

Not bad.

My grandmother's maid made a huge pot of glutinous rice today. It tasted really great and I was even gobbling up my plate.

Yum.

Anyway, as I was saying, I'm in a pretty bad mood.

If you want to calm me down, please buy Denise Ho's new album for me!

It's on the top of my shopping list right now. But the problem is that it may not be available in Singapore so I may have to search for it in places like a CD shop in Shaw Tower. Or maybe I will resort to buying it online.

Wish me luck. =)

Growing Up

2006-05-19T16:57:00.001+08:00

Whenever I look back in time, I will scold myself for being childish. Often, I wish that I can travel back to the past and undo a lot of things which I should not have done.

Back in the old days, I wasted my time away.

Once, I did something really wrong. It made my mother feel extremely disappointed in me and I really hated myself then. As time passed by, I realised that it wasn't such a bad thing after all because I had learnt a lesson and I know that I will never repeat that mistake again.

Of course, there were other minor stuffs.

I was five or six years old and my Chinese teacher was speaking to the class. All of a sudden, I walked up to the whiteboard, picked up the duster and hit it at the teacher.

Damn.

It's funny how I'm growing up slowly.

Sure. You may know me as a person who likes to joke around even during lessons. I may seem to you as someone who will not treat an important matter seriously and is always playing a fool.

But I think I have matured quite a lot.

When I was very much younger, I was this stupid girl who was always crying at the simplest matter. There was this idiotic boy who made fun of me by calling me names because I was crying every single day when my mum brought me to the childcare.

I spoke without thinking and offended many people. My relatives spoke ill of me but there were some who took great care of me and I will always be grateful to them.

As I grew older, I learnt how to behave properly. But somehow, I was quite a fool in primary school. I did not treasure my friends and I'm feeling regretful of it now.

You can say that I have not changed. All along, I have been this person who did not consider other people's feeling. I hurt them with my words and actions. Even after regretting, I seldom apologise.

But deep inside me, something has changed.

There's a serious side of me. But so far, I have not shown it to anyone unless they make me angry. Then, you will not only see me being serious, but terrifying as well.

*roar*

We are growing up every day through various experiences. When we succeed, we learn how to be humble. But if we fail, we pick ourselves up and continue to try our very best without giving up on ourselves. As the day passes by, you meet different people and learn from them. After you go on to another level, look back and remember the fond memories.

Let's grow up together.

Letting Go

2006-05-16T17:23:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, when we wish to hold on to something, various circumstances will force us to let go of it.

Often, we give up loving a special someone or doing something you love.

When you wish to go ahead to fulfil your dreams, something may be holding you back. Even if the matter is so important such that you will regret it for life if you miss this opportunity, you may end up not pursuing it due to certain reasons.

You finally meet someone you love, but everyone is objecting to your relationship. Will you go ahead and continue to love? Or will you be willing to let go of this special someone and live on as if you have not met the perfect one in your life?

Letting go of someone, or something, may seem like a cowardly act to most people.

As for me, I have been through this emotional war a lot of times in this life of mine.

I guess I'm used to it already.

願我可以學會放低你。

Moods

2006-05-15T15:45:00.000+08:00

I don't really feel like going to the school concert tonight.

*sigh*

It ends at about nice o'clock and that's quite late actually. Usually, I would have already brushed my teeth by then and gone to sleep.

Wee.

Here's a blog entry by Denise Ho. I just translated it into English... Personally, I think that her blog is very interesting and meaningful.

Best of all, she shares her real feelings.

自我。
2006/05/14
23:47:12

有沒有試過，自己很用心地做了一些事情，明明是真心真意的，卻被旁人覺得你另有目的，立心不良？

第一個反應，通常是憤怒吧。

再來可能是無奈，又或者覺得氣餒。

為什麼自己沒有做錯，卻要被其他人說成這樣。

如果放在以前，最自我的我，應該會是完全不會把這些人看在眼內，會覺得只是他們有問題，更加不會為任何人改變自己的做法。

不過，現在有點不同了。

這幾天，因為某些原因，要自己試試從對方的角度看看，突然發現，原來問題出在大家有很不同的價值觀。

像我這些怪人，對於一些自己喜歡的人和事，往往會太用心用力，遇上跟我一樣的人又或是明白我的人當然相安無事，但若是碰上一些跟你相反的人，便會讓人消化不了，看起來就一定是有計謀的吧。

大家跟本活在兩個不同的思想空間，又怎能希望人家明白你的用意呢。

若真的希望令人明白，可能就要自己先作出讓步。

唔。

原來，愛真的能令人成長。

This is my silly translation. Niahaha.

Have you ever experienced this? When you are doing something sincerely and using your heart to do it, some people accuse you of having a motive?

Your first reaction will probably be anger.

Then you may feel 'mo noi' (having no other alternative) and discouraged.

Why is it that even when you are not in the wrong, people will say such things?

If it was in the past, and I was always being myself, I will probably ignore such people and just think that they have a problem. I will definitely not change for them.

But now, it's different.

These few days, because of some reasons, I have learnt how to put myself in other people's shoes and see things from their point of view. Then, I realised that the problem is that everyone has different opinions.

For a weird person like me, when it comes to people or things I like, I will try my very best. For people who think like me, of course there won't be any problem but when someone thinks the opposite of what you think, then of course there will be disagreement.

Everyone lives in their own thinking space, so how can you wish that they think similarly with you?

If we really want them to do so, perhaps we should make the first move.

Mmm.

So love really matures a person.

Mother's Day

2006-05-14T20:22:00.000+08:00

This is going out to all the mothers out there...

Happy Mother's Day!

I think mothers are really amazing... It really takes a lot of courage to be one. Giving birth to a child is very tiring, but raising a child requires much more patience and love.

Sometimes I blame myself for being rude to my mum. I should appreciate and love her more instead of making her angry. It is of no use to be fillial to your parents only on the day they die. Why do you want to cry at their funerals when you don't even treasure them when they are alive?

*sigh*

Cheers to my mum and yours.

*wink*

Bad Hair Every Day

2006-05-13T21:08:00.000+08:00

Today, I went to cut my hair.

Somehow, there was hardly any difference at all when I walked out of the salon.

The hairdresser was in a really bad mood and she demanded to know how I wanted to cut my hair. She started grumbling away and said no matter how I cut, my hair will not turn out nice.

Whatever.

She said I should go for rebonding and I really felt like smacking her lips because it costs quite a lot and as you know, my family is in a bad state... There is no way I can afford that sum of money now just to straighten my silly hair.

So she insisted that she washed my hair first before cutting it.

Gosh.

Her nails were terribly long and sharp. When she was washing my poor scalp, it felt as if she wanted to rip my skull out.

Ouch.

Then she cut my hair for a while.

Tada!

Ugly ol' me as usual. *wink*

After that, my mum and I went to my grandma's house again. I watched the DVD (which I bought yesterday) there and it was really enjoyable because Andy Hui and Denise Ho are really good singers and performers. But the sad thing was that the DVD was an edited one so they left out some songs which I really like.

Oh well.

When we got home, my brother and dad were quarrelling.

I was pretty happy.

I mean, although I dislike both of them, my brother is still a little bit better than my dad sometimes. And my dad should be scolded by his child. Perhaps this way, he will wake up from his dream and back to reality.

Toot.

Frustration

2006-05-12T20:39:00.000+08:00

Today, I went shopping with my mum, my brother and his girlfriend.

We were supposed to watch a movie to celebrate Mother's Day but we calculated and realised it's not worth the money because it's a public holiday and the ticket will cost much more than the usual price.

Besides, my father is officially jobless.

Oh well.

Don't sympathise with me. Just give me money.

Although my family is in a rather bad state now, I bought 2 stuffs today. I got Eason Chan's recent EP, Life Continues, which is nice. Also, I bought a concert DVD of Andy Hui and Denise Ho.

Wee...

I'm sure you must be thinking that I'm a pathetic person who still buys unnecessary stuffs even when my family is broke. All I can tell you is that this is me, and I am an idiot.

I used my own money to buy them anyway. And when I buy something, I will starve myself for a week to save back the money I spend.

So just spare me the nagging.

Shit.

Is this the first time I'm using this word on my blog? I feel like using many other words to curse people who irritate me.

Sorry for my horrible attitude today. I'm feeling very frustrated.

I really dislike my family. If I can really live alone in the future, my dream will be fufilled. Sure, I love my mum a lot, I'm willing to live a few blocks away from her, but I will die if each time I return home, I will hear her nagging. As for my father and brother, they are useless guys not worth mentioning.

I guess I can change my life in the future, but I can't control fate.

They are my family and that's a fact.

Unlucky Day

2006-05-11T16:43:00.000+08:00

Today is a really unlucky day.

Firstly, when I walked into my Chinese class, I dropped my water bottle. A crack appeared on the bottom of it so I had to place it upside down. After I put it in a plastic bag, it became like a water bomb so I drank some of the water and threw the rest away.

So I was thinking, "Damn", but I wasn't expecting so many horrible incidents today.

It was recess and my friends and I were playing badminton in the hall. When I was about to return the shuttlecock, this schoolmate of mine suddenly came crashing into me and her racket whacked my face.

Don't worry, I'm was not disfigured.

But there were many scratches on my spectacles.

Then I felt a little annoyed but decided to let it pass since I did not want to act like a female dog and start screaming away. Later, Shasha and I went for recess. Somehow, after buying a cup of barley, I could not find my wallet when I went back to class.

I lost my wallet.

But a very honest schoolmate found it and reported it to the office so it was not so bad after all. However, today has been really weird.

I can imagine my computer crashing down on me suddenly.

Or when I sleep, I will have a nightmare with CheryLee guest-starring in it.

Happy Birthday Goonise!

2006-05-10T15:22:00.000+08:00

Niahaha.

Happy Birthday Denise Ho! Be happy and healthy always! Hope that your new EP (or album) does well. I will definitely buy it, even if my mum does not allow that. =)

I just like calling Denise Ho "Goonise", this nickname which I gave her recently.

Why? I think it sounds funny like her and although I have never seen her before, I do think that she's great. Her personality, looks and singing are really superb.

She's funny and amiable in reality, looks cool like a rock star and her songs, always composed very well and sung in wonderful lyrics by Wyman, are simply the best I have ever heard in my life.

Hope she will keep on singing!

*wink*

Something I just made with Photoshop.

Eye Infection

2006-05-09T18:06:00.002+08:00

My eyes look bloody and weird now...

Mum just brought me to Liang Clinic and the doctor prescribed me some stuffs to apply on my eyes. Obviously, I won't be able to wear my contact lenses for the time being.

I will be using my ugly spectacles for one week.

I can imagine my evil classmates laughing away at me.

*sigh*

I guess I did not rinse my contact lenses thoroughly or I watched too much television last night. When I woke up this morning, my left eye was a little red but I thought little of it.

So I went to school and CheryLee kept asking me what happened to my left eye.

I have learnt a lesson.

Take care of your eyes. They are important.

And even if the world is no longer beautiful, seeing your loved ones is already a blessing.

Cheers to my loved ones and hope that they won't get the infection from me.

Niahaha.

Understanding Someone

2006-05-07T21:08:00.000+08:00

It is really tough understanding a person.

Sometimes I don't even understand my mum. I have been seeing her every day since the day I was born but the way she behaves always seems to change.

Whenever she is nice to me, I will be pretty surprised and wonder if she has a motive. After I get used to her being good to me, she will suddenly shout at me and keep nagging until I feel like gluing her lips together.

Since I don't even understand the person closest to me, who else will I be able to understand?

As for my friends, I don't think I understand them well...

For example, CheryLee is really hard to understand! We practically fight every Friday while having lunch. Without any warning at all, she will throw something disgusting on my face. Then I will use my straw to shoot barley grains at her and we continue fighting away while the others laugh away at us.

Niahaha.

Yes, it is really hard to understand someone.

Do you really know your idols well? You probably think they are nice people who always have a smile on their face and are friendly people just like the roles they play on television. Or you think that they are so cool while singing a song and so on...

I guess this is why I like watching award shows. You can really tell a celebrity's character when another nominee wins the award instead of her. I was observing this actress and she practically glared at the winner with daggers shooting out of her eyes. Also, there are other actresses like Sheren Tang who really look happy for the winner. There's not a single bit of jealousy at all.

Oh.

And as usual, I wonder about Mariane.

Yes, I'm talking about her again.

I was thinking about her today and whether I really understand her. If you were to suddenly give me a quiz on Mariane, I will probably do better in it than in my algebra test.

But honestly, if Mariane were to appear in front of me and I exclaim aloud that I understand her well, she will whack me and say, "No, you don't."

*sigh*

That scene took place in my imagination obviously.

Mariane Chan Miu Ying.

In my mind, she is someone amiable, humorous, capable, elegant and simply perfect. She is no longer just an idol to me. Also, I not only admire her capability, but her personality as well. She is always friendly when being interviewed, well-liked among most people and Daow has also told me about how she always treat her fans well.

But in her everyday life, what is she like?

I have a cousin called May who used to be this wonderful person. (She is exactly three months older than Mariane.) When I was much younger, she would bring me out and buy me stationary, toy and snacks. She sang to me childish songs and was simply the perfect cousin to have. But slowly, through the years, she changed. Suddenly, she became rude to her parents, arrogant and acted like a stranger to me.

I'm quite saddened by this.

So I was thinking to myself today, "What if Mariane is like that too?"

I don't think so.

Or rather, I believe she is not.

Right now, I'm hating myself for doubting her character... Argh. Stupid me.

Whatever.

Cheers to Mariane.

I know you are great. =)

Super Trio Show

2006-05-06T20:51:00.000+08:00

Niahaha.

The Super Trio is a really nice Hong Kong TVB variety show.

I'm currently watching one with Mariane in it.

The problem is that the quality of the video is pretty lousy.

What a pity.

Anyway, I can still see Mariane's face and that is the most important! As soon as she appeared, she made everyone laugh with her funny expressions.

The first game she played in was ruined and everyone was laughing at her. Heehee.

Cutie pie. =)

The game was actually played by stamping one side of a plank and the food on the other side will fly towards the player and into her mouth. During her first try, Mariane stamped too lightly and the food fell onto the floor. The second time, she stamped too hardly and tried to catch it with her hand instead of her mouth while saying "Ahhh...".

*grin*

When they were playing musical chairs, she caused Nnadia Chan to be punished.

Naughty naughty! Just like me! Niahaha.

Next was the famous Ping Pong game where two players had to tackle table tennis while answering a question. Mariane gave a very weird answer and managed to win! =)

As for the guessing game, wow! Mariane teamed with Kenix Kwok and they were fabulous! Actually both of them met a long way back, when they entered Miss Hong Kong together and were in the Top 5...

There was another game which Mariane and Kenix did great in! They were asked to guess what a glass of juice was and they got it correct. When they had to eat something to fool another team, they managed to sabotage them and get them to give a wrong answer.

Smart girls. =)

Anyway, while watching a segment of the show where the actresses all had to sing a song, Mariane said something which shocked me.

Teochew?

Mariane Chan is a Teochew just like me?

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Niahaha.

This is so cool. There's now a possiblity that we belong to the same dialect group!

Oh, and she lost in that segment because somehow she could not sing some old songs. So the host made fun of her when she said her hometown was "Teochew province" instead of the usual "Cantonese province".

Cool, isn't it? But I'm not very certain about this...

Mariane walked home with a few prizes... This episode of Super Trio was filmed a few years ago. It really portrayed a different side of Mariane. Compared to her now, there's quite a lot of difference when she was an actress and now, as a businesswoman.

Oh well.

Cheers to Mariane. =)

Books!

2006-05-05T18:02:00.000+08:00

Yay! I can borrow stuffs from the library again! My mum finally paid all the fines we owe the National Library and I just borrowed four books, which means I have to finish reading them by the 26th of this month.

It should be rather easy... After all, I read books really fast, sometimes so fast that I don't understand the story even after reading a book for days.

Useless ol' me.

Zen and the Art of Falling in Love
Only Human
Don't Sit On This Book
Love in a Fallen City

Great books.

In case you are wondering why I borrowed a book on the art of falling in love, it's because Denise Ho reads this book and has even mentioned it on her blog. Niahaha. Besides, I like to read books or comics on Zen because it really makes a lot of sense.

Only Human seems to be rather interesting. Hope I will enjoy it.

Don't Sit On This Book is quite funny. Basically it is about Chinese taboos and superstitions that are passed down till now.

Last but not least, Love in a Fallen City! Shiok! The story of the play Louisa So is acting in!

I have not read books for so long.

Thus, I am going to enjoy every moment of this.

Cheers.

Weird Mothers

2006-05-04T16:54:00.000+08:00

Today I got really angry with my mum.

As soon as I woke up, she started scolding me. I shall not elaborate more but it was rather horrible and my day was ruined by her.

Then when I reached home, I saw that for the first time in a few years, she actually bought potato chips for me. Wow.

Perhaps she was trying to make up for spoiling my day.

Too bad. I'm still pissed.

Cheers to weird mothers.

My Busy Days

2006-05-03T16:37:00.000+08:00

I'm quite busy right now so I can't update much.

Recently, I have been very disappointed with my acedamic results. So I really have to work much harder.

Right now, I have to work on a project which I hope will be success.

Wish me luck.

This blog will be abandoned for a while but I will be right back. Meanwhile, work as hard as me, alright? *grin*

Algebra

2006-05-02T17:00:00.000+08:00

Do you know that you are so horrible?

Why were you created in the first place?

The origins of algebra can be traced to the ancient Babylonians, who developed an advanced arithmetical system with which they were able to do calculations in an algebraic fashion. With the use of this system they were able to apply formulae and calculate solutions for unknown values for a class of problems typically solved today by using linear equations, quadratic equations, and indeterminate linear equations. By contrast, most Egyptians of this era, and most Indian, Greek and Chinese mathematicians in the first millennium BC usually solved such equations by geometric methods, such as those described in the Moscow and Rhind Mathematical Papyri, Sulba Sutras, Euclid's Elements, and The Nine Chapters on the Mathematical Art. This geometric work of the Greeks, typified in the Elements provided the framework for generalizing formulae beyond the solution of particular problems into more general systems of stating and solving equations.

Damn those people who invented algebra.

It's making my life miserable.

I shall remember the pain you have put me through... *roar*

Knowing Her

2006-05-01T17:29:00.000+08:00

It's funny how two people can get to know each other.

Recently, I got to know a schoolmate through a rather weird way of communication. It all started during a Maths lesson when my teacher was talking about her bra size (just kidding, I mean algebra) and I was feeling terribly bored.

As you know, I hate algebra to the core.

Thus, I started doodling stuffs. I scribbled Mariane's name all over my textbook until I felt giddy because her name was everywhere. Then, I felt a sudden inspiration and wrote a Cantonese sentence on my desk.

其實我唔知。
Actually I have no idea.

A few days later, a reply appeared under what I wrote.

我都唔知喎。
I have no idea too.

And that was how Ah Fan and I got to know each other. Whenever I had to go to another class for my Chinese lesson, I will leave a message and she will reply.

I's quite amazing actually.

I'm sure you have stories to tell too. A person will come across countless people in his/her life.

For example, I got to know CheryLee on the first day of school last year. But it was only recently that we became good friends to the extent of her mum reading my blog occasionally.

Aiyo. Even my own mum does not know that I write a blog. Niahaha.

Just kidding, Auntie. =)

What about first impressions? Do you think they last? Or do you think that first impressions are useless and you will only understand someone only after a period of time?

Honestly, my first impression of Denise Kho (my classmate) wasn't that good.

She had just entered our school and somehow, I thought she was a little crazy. I can't remember clearly why I thought so but it should have been just a mere misunderstanding on my part.

Now, we are friends! =)

And I think her personality is really great.

Mariane!

How did I get to know Mariane?

Actually all along, I have been watching her drama serials but I did not really notice her. I just thought her acting was pretty good, she's a gorgeous lady and that was it.

When I was in Primary 6, Love Is Beautiful (Mariane's last drama before she became a businesswoman) was about to broadcast on television. After I saw the advertisement, I was a bit apprehensive of whether or not I should watch the show. The plot of the show was not very realistic and I did not recognise Mariane because she was made to look ugly.

In fact, I disliked her a bit and thought that the other main actress, Anne Heung, was better.

But as I continued to watch the episodes, I fell in love with Mariane totally. And I'm sure you know what happened from then. *wink*

Getting to know her was great.

Yeah.

Bye.

Swinging Moods

2006-04-29T20:36:00.000+08:00

Today has been a weird day.

I was woken up by my mum's voice rather late this morning and it turned out that she was talking about me on the phone. Then, I started being irritated and eavesdropped on what she said. Apparently, she was complaining about my academic results to my elder cousin.

*sigh*

You know, sometimes I get really pissed whenever my mum does things that concern me without my permission. Then when something goes wrong, she will start blaming me.

Being a child is really tiring. I can imagine myself still under my mum's thumb when I turn thirty-four years old (don't ask me why I chose that number) and she continues to nag at me.

I can imagine my mum blabbering away while I nod away in boredom.

"Come home already? How was work? What do you want to eat? Yong Tau Foo? If you are bored of it, what do you want? What about vegetables with rice? Anyway, your brother needs you to repair the computer again. And..."

*sigh*

It seems that even when we grow up to be adults, our parents will still treat us like kids who are still sucking on our pacifiers.

Anyway, I was in a rather bad mood the whole day. As usual, I went to my grandmum's house and her maid cooked some Mee Siam for the entire family.

Yum.

Eating it actually improved my mood a little.

After that, my mum and I went to Parkway again. I shared a plate of pasta, two slices of sandwiches and a chicken pie with my mum for dinner and we walked home. On the way home, we met my dad's buddy and my mum started chatting with him while I admired the scenary.

Boring scenary.

But honestly I think trees are really beautiful things. Especially the leaves. =)

When we finally reached home, we banged into our neighbour who lives a few units away and he was carrying his adorable nine-month-old grandson in his arms. The boy was so cute! So there we were, my mum, the old neighbour, the too-cute-for-words boy and me standing in the void deck muttering baby-talk.

It immediately brightened up my day.

Life is so weird.

What Happened?

2006-04-27T17:59:00.000+08:00

When I was on my way home, I passed by my primary school and saw two police vans in there. No one was around and there was a rather eerie feeling about it.

Damn.

Hopefully nothing bad happened in my darling school today.

*cross fingers*

Turned out there was nothing wrong. Just that the school was chosen for some election stuffs. Thank goodness...

Troubled

2006-04-26T20:55:00.000+08:00

Too many problems recently.

Oh well...

Guess I have to bear with everything.

One Day

2006-04-26T14:53:00.000+08:00

It's a really stormy day.

Sometimes life is like the weather.

It can be a sunny and cheerful day when suddenly a storm comes along and destroys everything. Then just when you think everything is so gloomy, a rainbow appears and makes your day.

Unpredictable. That's the word for it.

Life can be so unpredictable.

Treasure it while you can because you may die just tomorrow.

It always sadden us when we read about people dying in the newspaper. Sometimes I wonder that if I were to appear in the newspaper suddenly and everyone finds out that I get some disease called Leaferlogus that will turns me into a leaf in a few days, how will life be?

Or if that happens to you, what will you do?

One day left for you to live to the fullest...

That's why I'm saying this.

Enjoy life while you can.

Marriage

2006-04-25T16:11:00.000+08:00

Yup, this is what I'm going to blog about today.

Marriage. And guys.

Somehow, everyone is telling me not to marry in the future. But it's not like I'm going to marry in the first place... I don't like men anyway. I love women.

Just kidding.

It's not like anyone wants to marry me in the first place. *roar*

Anyway, I face people telling me how marrying is useless every day.

Today, when I came back from home, my mum immediately told me that she met my ex-classmate's maid. When my nosy mother asked her whether she had a family in her homeland, the maid actually said she sees no point in getting married. Apparently, my mum was like "That is so true!" and she started getting along with that maid...

A few days ago, my mum and I met a neighbour downstairs and we ended up chatting for quite long. The neighbour said something amusing.

"Local men are stupid! They pretend to listen to their wives and say they are working overseas to support their family. But they actually go to Batam to visit their mistresses!"

This is so true.

Some men can't be trusted, especially when I see so many bad examples everywhere.

There are many examples and I can go on about these horrible guys for days.

There is a certain singer in Hong Kong who is so horrible that I feel like vomitting when I hear his name. But of course I won't say his name here or I will be killed by his fans.

My father is not a good guy either and I really pity my mum for marrying such a horrible man. My Uncle Richard is also quite a bad husband and is always causing my dear Auntie Helen to be sad.

I'm sure you have read about that monster who raped his daughters in the newspaper recently. I was really pissed when I read about it. He's worse than a beast!

Yes.

But there are couples who love each other truely...

Bless them.

I'm done with this entry. See you tomorrow then.

Female Family

2006-04-23T21:49:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it seems that I have two mothers and no father.

My dad is so naggy that sometimes he's worse than a combination of both of my grandmothers. He is also the reason why I hate Sundays, because he does not need to work on that day. Then, he will nag at me the whole day while I just listen in silence.

The thing I hate most is when he asks me to smile.

If you are my classmate, you probably think that I am one who smiles quite a lot and is always the one making the sick joke but at home, I'm totally opposite of what you think. Sure, I always talk to my mum but when my dad is around, I just shut up.

I guess it's because we don't get along that well.

And the thing is that I look very grouchy when I don't smile. I don't like my face anyway and I can't be bothered to go for plastic surgery to add a fake smile on my face.

By the way, I think my father is going to lose his job.

*sigh*

Enough about him.

The two guys in my family are useless.

Normally when something spoils and requires repair, my mum and I will be the one fixing it. Whenever the printer or scanner spoils, I will be the one repairing it while my brother grumble away. Recently, the fan in my living room became faulty and my mum and I carried it home from Parkway Parade and fixed it ourselves.

Useless.

More on guys next entry. See you. =)

Good Night

2006-04-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

Just found some video clips of Mariane!

I was so happy that I nearly cried just now... =)

It's really hard to find stuffs of her since she has made such a drastic change of careers. But somehow, I found some really nice videos while searching "Marianne Chan" (which is spelled wrongly on purpose) and...

Wow! The results that showed were really great!

Yeah.

Mariane. You rock so much.

Love you so much. (Niahaha.)

Have a good night and don't work yourself out! *grin*

Quirky Day

2006-04-22T20:56:00.000+08:00

My finger feels weird now.

It hurt quite badly when I played my guitar yesterday. Now, it feels numb and looks rather weird as if the scalded part of my finger is cooked. Crazy me even thought of eating the tip of my finger just now like a cannibal.

Yucks.

Today, I went to my grandmother's house with my mum and Auntie Helen. As soon as I reached there, I saw a picture of Chen Hanwei, Grandma, Auntie Candy and two of my cousins.

Jealousy. Or rather, envy...

Oh well.

Then I observed the photo and saw that Chen Hanwei sat on one side of the sofa so I went to sit there. Niahaha. I'm so lame.

Anyway, while Auntie Helen, Grandma and my mum chatted away, I practised my Maths.

Gosh, I hate algebra.

It's totally useless. You can't even use the knowledge of algebra in the future at all. Not even when you are buying bras.

Niahaha.

Okay, I'm totally weird today.

Soon, Uncle Richard came. He is my mum's eldest brother and the husband of Auntie Helen. Well, he is a stingy millionaire and he likes to talk a lot.

Niahaha.

As soon as he saw me, he exclaimed, "Wa! Are you under a lot of stress? Why are your eyes green?" Hmmm... I did not reply but smiled politely.

Yes, I am under stress.

Recently, I have been working very hard for my studies, unlike the years before. I never used to study hard in the past except in primary six, because my darling teacher, LMF, tortured me everyday. But it was good in a way because I did considerably well that year. I felt really stretched like a rubber band and for once, I made use of my brains.

Enough about studying. *vomit*

My mum and I left about five plus and we went to Parkway Parade. Again.

We ate at Han's and I was pretty upset that they changed the menu. There wasn't much difference but they increased the price of my favourite pasta which used to be freaking cheap.

Well, well.

Then we walked out there and went shopping for a while in NTUC. While my mum was checking out the groceries she needed, silly ol' me was staring at cat food.

Yup. Cat food.

It's not that I'm changing my eating habits and switch to being a cat-food lover but I was actually researching on how expensive it should be to keep a cat. But of course I'm not getting a pet soon because it's troublesome. Besides, my mum will never allow it.

Unless I live alone when I grow up.

*sigh*

My mum will not allow that either.

Wish me luck and hopefully, the dream of living alone in a small home will come true.

Cheers.

Baked Cookies

2006-04-21T15:10:00.000+08:00

It was really fun baking cookies during Home Econs today. They turned out to be rather delicious and although I scalded my finger (which is why I'm typing so slow now), the lesson was really great.

I totally hate that Home Econs teacher.

When I burnt my poor index finger on my left hand, she actually snickered and said, "See? I told you to use a wet cloth to hold the tray!" I have to admit I was careless, but it was an accident and shouldn't a teacher show concern for a student?

Hmph. All the teachers in my school are horrible one way or another.

*sigh*

Anyway, I shaped the cookies weirdly. =)

There were 5 in total and all in different shapes. (Doughnut, cuboid, concave, an "L" and an "M".) Niahaha. It was really cool molding them into such shapes actually. Half of the doughnut-shaped one was eaten by Azu because she gave one to me last term and careless me dropped it on the floor, making her very sad. The concave one was broken into two, one for Ruth (who gave me some of hers) and the other for me. I ate the L-shaped one because the "L" stands for Leaf and I will not allow my friends to eat me up. Finally, I brought home the cuboid one and the "M".

The funny thing was, when I showed the M-shaped cookie to my friends, they said a person's name immediately.

Mariane.

Niahaha. I have to admit that I was thinking of her while shaping the M. (It was difficult shaping it but I succeeded!) But actually I gave it to my mum whose name actually starts with an M too.

But still, it was impossible to send the cookie to Mariane. By the time it reaches her, it will be a container of maggots instead. This does not mean that the cookie was not intended for my mum.

I love my mum a lot, okay.

So anyway, my mum is not one to appreciate cookies. We had this little conversation which she started first. And it was rather annoying.

"Aiyo, not nice so you give me right?"

"No lah, they taste very nice hor."

"See below? The cookie all burnt already."

"Where got? Supposed to be like that one."

"What kind of shape is this?"

"It's an "M" shape."

"So weird one."

"Eat lah!"

"Okay lah. Eh, I eat all the raisins ah. I like these kind of baked raisins."

"Yah. Nice?"

No reply.

Mum is always like that. When I was much younger, I would design cards for her or save up my pocket money to buy her gifts. But she scolded me instead for wasting money. Sometimes I would buy food such as curry puffs which she likes. She said it wasn't nice. Then today when I gave her cookies I baked for her, she just popped the entire M-shaped one into her mouth and spited the burnt parts out.

Oh well.

After school, I went to the library to help Rach T return her books. Then I went up a level to find some books to borrow.

Gosh. I don't regret coming to a girls' school anymore. (Shall not elaborate more.)

I found nothing much on the upper levels and finally went down to the first storey. However, when I chose some interesting titles, I realised I owed the damn library money for returning some books late so I could not borrow them.

Poor me.

Anyway, my brother just came back home in a bad mood and talked rather rudely to my mum. Sometimes I really pity her for having 2 horrible children, a stupid and hot-tempered one and a lazy and stubborn one.

I swear never to have children.

I do love kids and think that raising one is a great experience and stuffs like that but when they don't appreciate, respect and love you, it's as if the world is coming down on you. So right now, I'm learning how to treasure my mum.

As for my dad, don't bother mentioning him.

Niahaha.

Pictures! =)

2 pictures of my darling "M" cookie.

My cuboid cookie bitten off at the corner.

Two plates of Indian food. =)

And dinner that I had weeks ago...

Five More Tests!

2006-04-18T09:16:00.000+08:00

Feeling bored in school now so I have decided to update my blog...

I am done with three of my tests already.

Finally performed my literature poem with my group members yesterday. Before that, we had a short Chinese Vocabulary test.

And I just sat for my Geography test. It was pretty cool.

Yay.

5 more tests this week. English, Chinese letter-writing, Maths, Science and another silly Literature poem to perform.

Ahhh... I hate performing poems.

It ought to be lovely to be old
To be full of the peace that comes of experience
And wrinkled ripe fufillment

The wrinkled smile of completeness that follows a life
Lived undaunted and unsoured with accepted lies
If people lived without accepting lies.
They would ripen like apples and be scented like pippins
In their old age

Soothing, old people should be, like apples
When one is tired of love
Fragrant like yellowing leaves and dim with the soft stillness
And satisfaction of autumn

And a girl should say
It must be wonderful to live and grow old
Look at my mother! How rich and still she is

And a young man should think: By Jove
My father's faced all weathers, but it's been a life

Yeah... But I still have the energy to persevere! Woohoo!

Thanks to her and this damn blog to vent my frustrations. =)

Teamwork?

2006-04-17T19:02:00.000+08:00

There's a question mark at the end of my title because I don't really know the meaning of teamwork. What on earth is meant by teamwork?

I checked Dictionary.com and here is one of the results.

Teamwork refers to the cooperative effort by the members of a group or team to achieve a common goal.

Well, well, well.

That seems alien to me. And I shall not tell you why.

I simply hate working in a group.

Although many of my group members are my good friends, I simply cannot stand working together as a group. I should start worrying about the future because my work life will be horrible since I can't get along with people well.

*sigh*

Cheers to individual work.

To my classmates who are in the same groups as me, please don't be offended. I'm just venting my anger on my blog and this entry should not annoy anyone.

*sigh*

Cheers to Mariane and CheryLee. =)

CheryLee Hates Me Now

2006-04-16T21:56:00.000+08:00

I guess you are going to have a nightmare tonight...

Scary, isn't she?

And my nightmare will be of this girl chasing me with a chopper.

Maybe it will come true after she reads this entry.

Pray for me.

Thank you! *grin*

My Thoughts

2006-04-16T16:27:00.000+08:00

Today, my friends and I discussed our projects in the library.

We nearly got chased out.

Apparently, some parents complained about us so this librarian kept coming to us and asking us to separate. In other words, she wanted us to get out.

Oh well.

It's such a boring day. Every day is boring... Because life is boring. Or rather, my life is boring. Thus, my blog is boring. =)

Yeah. I'm feeling so depressed because of school and other problems... Yesterday, I stood in front of my room's window and felt like jumping off. Don't worry, I did not do that and even if I tried to, I would have gotten stuck in my window. Niahaha.

I feel pathetic.

My studies have worsened so much that teachers are starting to be rude to me. *growl*

Actually I know I'm not so smart to begin with. My primary school may be pretty good but I was actually doing quite badly in my academic results there. Surrounding me were smart and rich friends who could do well without even touching their books and the worst thing was, their parents always drove big luxurious cars to fetch them home. Sometimes, they even had chauffeurs. (Wah!)

I'm not really jealous of them... It's just that I think life can be so unfair.

A stupid spoilt brat can be born into a rich family and play with her silly dolls every day. Meanwhile, a girl who has a much better personality has to quit school to support her family.

A man who goes around doing indecent things may never be caught and punished. Yet, there may be an innocent lady out there who is suddenly struck with a terminal illness and has to leave her memories behind as she leaves this world.

*sigh*

I love to think. Sometimes I think too much and floats out of reality. However, it's a good way to reflect on life. It makes you treasure what you have and appreciate... And to be contented.

Think.

Teachers

2006-04-15T22:57:00.000+08:00

I feel quite bored now although there are lots of tests to study this week.

Oh well. Anyway, I have decided to do a post on teachers.

Hehehe.

Well, I have mentioned LMF so many times that I'm sure you know her by now. Enough about her, it's time to talk about the other teachers I have suffered under.

(I will use nicknames for some of them to preserve my life. Niahaha.)

When I was in Primary 1 and still an innocent girl, I had Mrs Lee as my teacher. She was rather great but she disappeared for a few months to give birth. Well, I met her a few months ago and she recognised me even though half of my life has passed. (I was seven when she taught me and now I'm fourteen.)

In Primary 2, I was becoming a little naughty and talkative so I offended my teacher often. JL was this young and horrible lady who punished us by asking us to squat on our chairs throughout her lessons and do star jumps in class. Recently when I met her, she recognised me! Gosh, I thought my looks have changed a lot but apparently not... *growl*

I had another pregnant teacher in Primary 3. Our form teacher, McDonald, took maternity leave for a few months and we had another excellent relief teacher, Olivia. Well, McDonald was quite okay when she came back. Niahaha. I remember molesting her accidentally.

Huh? You want to know what happened? *grin*

Well... McDonald was holding this stack of files up and she asked me to use a rubber band to tie them together. So I used the band to go round the files and suddenly, I whacked her chest.

Aiyoyo.

Okay. Enough.

In Primary 4, my favourite year, I had a teacher called Crayon. She was really great. (And had a handwriting one million times better than mine.) We still keep in touch. =)

Primary 5! Oh my gosh. I had this teacher called Phan and she was... Fine. Well, I disliked her but honestly, she teaches really well.

Primary 6 was LMF... Obviously the toughest year so far in my entire life.

Secondary 1 was very different. There were suddenly so many teachers and most of them were horrible. The few good ones were Mrs Geh, one of the few teachers who can teach in a fun way, Mdm Az, who was funny and interesting and a few others. Actually I had much better teachers last year. This year, good teachers are like endangered species.

*sigh*

Hamster is so horrible and unkind. Mrs Obituary is very weird because she likes to read the newspapers' obituaries. And so on...

I used to want to be a teacher but getting taught by such horrible ones has changed my mind.

Misery

2006-04-15T16:10:00.000+08:00

I am feeling so miserable.

It's as if the world is falling on me, but at the same time, I wish it will squash me to death as soon as possible. Life has no meaning suddenly.

I'm so tired of school, especially the projects that are not meaningful at all.

Tired...

Yet, I'm hanging on. I will fight to the end like she does.

Add oil.

Let's work hard together and I do hope that you are happy and fine there.

Cheers.

My Buddies' Photos

2006-04-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

If you can be bothered to browse through this slideshow, please click the following link. Go ahead. You will find it entertaining.

http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j143/leafling/Buddies/?action=view&slideshow=true

It contains CheryLee, Han Wudi, Rach N, Ai Ying, Denise K and some others.

Enjoy all you can while CheryLee cries in misery.

Sorry to the others who don't want their photos in public. =)

Good Friday

2006-04-14T20:35:00.000+08:00

Today I woke up rather happily as it was a holiday and there was no school. After eating breakfast, I headed straight for my guitar to practise a little.

Guess what?

Another string broke.

I swear I did not even touch it.

It was the High E string. The previous string that broke was a Low E string.

Damn.

I have a grudge with this alphabet.

Stupid E.

Perhaps it was tuned too tightly yesterday so it snapped. =(

Oh well. Then, my mum and I went to Century Square to watch Eight Below (more on that later) and we moved on to Tampines Mall where I bought the new string. I just strung my guitar a few hours ago and it's not in tune again.

*sigh*

I'm a guitar string murderer.

Okay, enough about guitar strings. Let's talk about my current favourite movie.

Eight Below.

I cried buckets while watching it.

Honestly, I was quite keen to watch Ice Age 2 instead but my mum insisted that watching Eight Below seemed better since it was inspired by a true story. At first I hestitated since watching dogs run about seems boring but I was wrong.

Woah.

It's as if the dogs' acting skills were better than people.

The sad thing was that there was this silly baby in the cinema hall and he kept crying (more than me) so I was a little bit distracted. Nevertheless, the way the beautiful Huskies behaved were really fascinating and they displayed their emotions so well.

Go watch it.

It's very worth it and even if you don't want to pay for the movie tickets, buy the VCD/DVD then. Buy original ones, okay?

Yeah.

Bye.

Botanic Gardens

2006-04-13T20:44:00.000+08:00

These photos of the rainforest may look ordinary to you. However, they are really special to me because I was surrounded by the lush greenery and the feeling was great.

I am a leaf after all. =)

Enjoy!

(There are still pictures of my buddies to be posted a few days later. That is if they don't mind seeing their faces everywhere on this blog... *grin*)

I love how this trunk looks!

Forgot what type of plant this is called but it creeps a lot.

We were spending minutes trying to capture photos of this cute butterfly.

These are my fellow leaves. Yeah!

A very tall tree that stretched way up above the rest. Wee...

While the teacher was talking away, Han Wudi, Rach N and I found this weird thing. It's kinda like a spider's hive. Cool?

Another cute trunk...

The path leading to heaven? Nope. It leads to...

Mariane.

Niahaha.

Cute little fluffy fibre.

Bushy tree with some bright parts!

Two rather nice views I got...

That's all. I have to catch my favourite Korean drama, Jewel In The Palace, now! =)

Tests Again

2006-04-13T20:16:00.000+08:00

Entrepreneurship project for English.

Chinese vocabulary test on Monday.

Chinese letter-writing on Thursday.

Maths test.

Science test on Thursday.

Geography CA on Tuesday. (Thanks Ai Ying for telling me the correct day. Whew.)

Literature poem performance. (Group work.)

Literature poem performance. (Individual work.)

It's a horrible week from Monday onwards.

It's a horrible month.

It's a horrible term.

It's a horrible year.

It's a horrible school life.

It's the horrible life of this leaf.

*sigh*

All the best to you, my dear fellows.

(Updated my previous post because I forgot to add an important friend. Damn ol' me.)

Family & Friends

2006-04-12T15:00:00.000+08:00

Honestly, do you think family members or friends are more important?

To me, family members are more important. I guess it's because family members care for us forever. When you are in trouble, they are probably the ones who still stand by you.

As for friends... I have not met one who has been with me through thick and thin.

Niahaha.

Maybe it's due to the fact I'm not a really good person.

I'm sure that if I have a friend whom I understand and get along with, this friend will be as important as my family. But it's a pity no one wants to get along with this stupid leaf.

Still, I have met many friends in my primary and secondary school whom I will remember till the last day I live. They are special and important to me.

Primary school buddies.

Tzu Hsiang. I was in the same class with her in primary school for exactly six years. We were rather close but you could say I was an idiot who did not appreciate her much. Sometimes we would argue but we would make up after a while. Yeah. Thanks, girl.

Cedric. He's probably one of the few guys who are not that idiotic. But oh well, we don't keep in touch any longer. There are also similar guys like Edwin, Nicholas, Fernando, Jie Qi and some others.

Cheryl K, Hui Ling, Sarena (Damn! I forgot to add this darling!), Jia Min, Jia Yi, Rachel Phang, Cheryl Y and many other babes whom I have forgotten to mention are really great people. Thank goodness I have managed to stay in touch with some of them.

Secondary 1 and 2 buddies.

Shu Ying, CheryLee, Ai Ying, Rach N, Denise, Rach T, Nicole, Syahirah, Bhav, Boo and some others... I think they have been great people sticking with me for these 2 years.

Yeah, and I can't bear to get into a new class next year.

A new environment with strangers...

Well, well, well... Life's like that. I guess I have managed to get used to this.

We have to move on and not be so sad about these.

Fate can't be controlled sometimes.

Study!

2006-04-10T15:02:00.000+08:00

I really think that studying is useless. It's just that we don't have a choice...

Today, I received my Maths paper back and I passed by only a few marks. It's rather disappointing to know that my standard has dropped so much over a few months.

That's why I'm saying this to myself every day...

Study!

*sigh*

After studying and probably getting a diploma or a degree, I can finally go to work. After working, I will probably retire and die at home.

Life is meaningful?

Yeah, right.

This is my crazy list to accomplish before I escape from the clutches of studying.

For English, I will have to read more and learn more vocab. For Chinese, I will have to revise my textbook every few days. For Maths, I have to keep practising and not be careless anymore. For Science, I have to pay more attention in class. For History, I have to study and read more. For Geography, I have to listen more in class. For Literature, I have to put in much more effort. For guitar, I have to practise more. For Home Econs, I have to put in a lot of hard work. For Art, I have to use my right brain more. For Gymnastic lessons... Just prepare to die.

Yeah.

Bye.

No more excessive blogging from now on. =(

A Funny Weekend

2006-04-09T20:28:00.000+08:00

Recognise this guy here? I'm sure you do if you watch MediaCorp dramas on Channel 8 often...

His name is Chen Hanwei and he joined Star Search many years ago. Since then, he has become a famous leading actor in Singapore.

His dialect group is Teochew. Hanwei is very friendly and super fluent in Mandarin. However, his Teochew is quite horrible and he speaks more Hokkien actually. Currently, he is filming 2 shows.

You must be thinking that I'm an idiot who finds out information of every single actor/actress.

Well, another piece of information.

Chen Hanwei is my Uncle Alan's friend.

*knock my head against the keyboard*

Yes! That Chen Hanwei went to my uncle's house a few hours after I left yesterday!

What a waste... I could have met him. Although I'm only crazy after HK actresses, it's still cool to meet an actor. Besides, he is one of the few local stars I like.

*sigh*

Oh well.

Horrible fate...

My cousins actually met him and took a photo with him.

I'm going to my Grandmum's house this Saturday again and find out where he sat on the sofa. Then I will keep bouncing on it. Niahaha...

Well, at least it was Chen Hanwei.

If it was Mariane, I would have committed suicide.

If it was Denise Ho, I would have fainted.

If it was Sheren Tang, Louisa So, Maggie Shiu, Christine Ng, Bondy Chiu, Maggie Cheung, Ada Choi, Esther Kwan or the many other stars I like a lot, I would complain about this every day.

Okay. Enough.

*grin*

My dad is so weird.

He is dipping his cream crackers into his instant noodles' soup now.

Niahaha.

It's my fault that he's so hungry now because I didn't bring my mobile phone out with me just now. So I missed his call and my mum didn't buy dinner for him. Heehee.

Also, just now while walking home from Parkway Parade, my mum and I were fighting with a stupid fly that followed us everywhere. It was really hilarious doing that and it reminded me of a news article of Denise Ho a few weeks back.

Blah blah blah...
Denise then talked about her fight with a giant mosquito several days ago. She was woken up by a mosquito in the middle of the night. She was so annoyed that she stood up and fought with it. She said, "I had a one night stand with the mosquito! I almost wanted to catch it using chopsticks like a medium does. The mosquito then fled the scene after biting me at several spots."

Hey. I will be calling Denise Ho "Ah C" from now on... It's much more convenient like that. Afterall, I have another classmate with the same name.

Oh, CheryLee! How many times must I tell you to leave messages in the chatbox! If you post comments again, I will whack you a zillion times tomorrow!

Ah C rocks. So does Mariane. Yeah.

Cheers! =)

My First Vodka

2006-04-08T21:51:00.000+08:00

I had my first glass of vodka about 4 hours ago.

In case you are one blur toot...

Vodka is an alcoholic liquor originally distilled from fermented wheat mash but now also made from a mash of rye, corn, or potatoes.

Woah.

I'm drunk.

Niahaha.

I was at my grandma's house and my forth uncle, Alan, was holding a party for about 40 of his friends. Only Grandma, Mum, Uncle Alan, Auntie Candy (my 3rd Uncle's wife), Norman (Alan's best friend) and I were there in the afternoon as the visitors were coming much later in the evening.

Anyway, Norman suddenly offered Candy, my mum and me a glass of vodka each.

Obviously I accepted it but my mum was staring at me as if I was going to be drunk before I could even drink it. It turned out that my mum was hopeless at this and she drank less than me.

*smirk*

Norman actually said it was a very weak one but he was wrong!

I took a small sip and nearly spited it out! The alcohol content was freaking high! At first, it was rather sweet and tasted like peach but suddenly it became bitter. I could pratically feel my throat warming up and my livers crying in misery!

But I took a few more sips and left the glass there on the table.

Niahaha.

After having dinner, I drank a little bit more but it was too much for me.

So my wonderful Auntie Candy took a bottle of green tea out and we mixed it with the vodka. It tasted rather weird but it was rather refreshing for a change.

Of course I didn't get drunk.

How to?

I merely took a few gulps of not-that-strong vodka and the rest was diluted with green tea.

*sigh*

But still, I am no teetotaller! I think it will be so cool if I can drown my sorrows and just get drunk like that in the future. Getting drunk seems to be wonderful thing to me.

But I will definitely be kind to my livers so I think I will probably drink only a few times a year when I grow up. Woohoo!

*grin*

Get drunk, walk home, lie on the bed and sleep.

Yay.

Butterfly Lovers

2006-04-07T17:30:00.000+08:00

Back in the old days of ancient China, Zhu Ying-Tai disguised herself as a man to persue a higher education. While she was in school studying, she met Liang Shan-Bo and fell in love with him.

But after they started getting along, her parents told her that she had been betrothed to another man. Saddened, Ying-Tai confessed her love for Shan-Bo. However, she had no say in her marriage and had to return home while Shan-Bo travelled to the capital to sit for his exams.

When Shan-Bo received a post as an official, he went to Ying-Tai's house to propose to her. Yet, her parents disagreed as he was from a humble background. Thereafter, Shan-Bo died in misery.

On the way for her marriage ceremony, Ying-Tai passed by Shan-Bo's grave. Somehow, whirlwinds prevented her from moving on. Therefore, she came down from her carriage and paid her tribute to Shan-Bo. When she stood in front of the tomb, it split open. Ying-Tai walked in and suddenly, a pair of butterfly lovers flew out of the tomb.

The lovers were at long last freed from the bounds of tradition.

Honestly I think this story is very touching.
Besides, love does cross all boundaries... It is a beautiful thing.

(Read another version of the story here.)

Photos Dedication

2006-04-07T16:20:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to my guitar-playing inspiration, Denise Ho! The guitar sounds very weird and yes, I know the walls are very dirty. Hmph.

Dedicated to my mum for cooking this although I would prefer it vegetarian. =)

Dedicated to all who likes Bolognese. Although this looks sick, it's yummy.

Dedicated to Mariane. I made this star-shaped toy in school during D&T. It's pretty nice and colourful but not exactly fun since the only way to play it is spinning the stars repeatedly. (This photo is not very clear since my hands are freaking shaky.)

And this entry is dedicated to you.

And me.

Bye! =)

Niahaha.

I Am Trying To Change

2006-04-07T16:03:00.000+08:00

Wah!

It's so difficult.

Right now I'm trying to be less talkative, annoying and mean.

So if I'm being a little quieter these days, I'm still alive okay?

I think I'm an idiot most of the times, so tolerate me for many more days/months/years until I succeed. Or perhaps I never will.

*sigh*

I will probably be cremated before that day comes.

Hmmm... And I think I look fierce when I don't smile.

Well...

*grin*

Do I still look fierce? How dare you...

*growl*